Fill me up, Lord

"You will seek me, & find me when you seek me w/ all your heart," God says. But that is not the whole story. I'm not just a searcher. I'm also a hider. You too. We have to come face-to-face w/ our tendency to hide, to get lost. ~John Ortberg, Love Beyond Reason

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Fairly Mindful

Fairly Mindful is much more manageable and achievable than fully mindfully.
Fairly is doable and reachable. (Do I sound like a SMART goal?)

Even in the midst of distraction, I can take slices of moments to be fairly mindful.
Like an orange slice, not a banana peal.

However, why I would I settle for fairly instead of fully?

In what circumstances do you struggle with being fairly/fully mindful?


Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Necessary Endings & What would love say?

I was listening to an interview with one of my favorite authors, Dr. Henry Cloud. His book "Boundaries" was a life-changer for me.

I have a funny story about a "Necessary Ending" with my small group Bible study. It was clear that we needed to end. I even called a "funeral" for our group at Panera. I literally called it a small group funeral. As a result, the group decided not to die but to go on life support for another 6 mos. YEEESH! At least I tried.

I need and desire a "necessary ending" with my relationships. My old habits do not bring me the results I desire. I need to revolutionize and prune this people, things, and habits that just don't do it.

What would love say?


Monday, January 17, 2011

Only Kindness Matters... (when it comes to change)

I have that lyric of Jewel's in my head this evening.

I watch so many weight-loss reality shows. I don't know why. (This evening it was A&E's HEAVY.)

I see their anguish -mental and physical. I see trainers yelling at them to change. Threatening them that they will die. But when you are so lost in the midst of your pain... when you are buried in self-deprecation... death as a consequence is a not a motivation to change. For some, it seems like a viable solution.

When it comes to change...
only kindness matters.

Kindness always.

Your old habits and pathways are not made new by lecture, criticism, nor threats.
They are not made new by physical torture nor vitamins.

Your soul has to change.
The soul responds to kindness.
The soul responds to love and deity.

The soul cries out for Her Creator.
And the creator is about kindness.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Single in the Suburbs

When discussions of infertility arise, my only thought is, "At least you have a husband." Not the right attitude at all. But, it's how it is for me. Infertility discussions make me want to scream.

Jesus is enough.
But it doesn't feel like that all of the time.
And that's when it's time to move from a shallow faith to one much more deep.

Saturday, January 08, 2011

Mindful Living is NOT a chore...

Dr. Michelle May, author of "Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat", posed this question today, "Can you think of cooking as part of mindful eating instead of as a chore?"

I REALLY struggle with organization. So cooking is a nightmare for me. The planning, the grocery shopping, the prep work, the serving, the putting away. Just thinking about it now makes my chest feel very tight.

Why do I let my anxiety choke?

Why do I ask why?
I decided to just sit back and observe the sensation.

Guess what. Geneen Roth was right.
Sometimes feelings just want to be acknowledged.
Sometimes you have to greet your anxiety, move over, and make a place for it.
Then you can go about your business.

Dr. May goes on to say that,

"At times, cooking feels like a chore you have to get through.
However, no matter how mundane ANY task is,
there is an opportunity to be fully present and mindful.

When you interact with the ingredients that fuel your body using all of your senses, you discover the peace and joy of the present moment.

Start with small steps like slicing an apple and smearing on peanut butter.
See, touch, smell, listen, and taste
while noticing the little things
that are so often missed in our rush
to get to the next activity!
Savor and enjoy!"

So, cooking can be a spiritual event if we let it.

For more information about Dr. May, you can go to her website at:

Saturday, January 01, 2011

R*E*L*I*S*Hing life

Wondering how I might savor, delight, and RELISH all experiences in life, particularly that with eating, relationships, and being in the present moment.