Fill me up, Lord

"You will seek me, & find me when you seek me w/ all your heart," God says. But that is not the whole story. I'm not just a searcher. I'm also a hider. You too. We have to come face-to-face w/ our tendency to hide, to get lost. ~John Ortberg, Love Beyond Reason

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Summer Reading Update

Well, uh, I haven't read any of the books on my list.
But, I'VE BEEN READING 2 AMAZING books by my guru: John Ortberg!!!!
They are: The Life You've Always Wanted (okay, but I liked Love Beyond Reason more) & God Is Closer Than You Think (just started).

I need to meditate more on my Colossians passage and I'm going to go through Ephesians as well.

My problem is, I start a book, but then I find a NEW book, and I get so excited about it, that I start that one!

I went to my local library and was surprised to see how many books they had on Christian Living, etc. I almost went home with 5 more, but cut it down to 2. (A Henri Nouwen one and the Ortberg) Cath, they had Brannon Manning's Abba Child!

Last week I was at a friend's house, and her mother is a bibliophile as well. I am a recovering bibliophile, as I have had numerous friends to decluttering interventions with me.

I brought home 4 GREAT books!
1. Okay, the John Ortberg was only good. (The Life You've Always Wanted)
2. Being Mary in Martha's World,
3. a book on church history that is really great (the whole DaVinci Code issue really piqued my interest; I'm up to the 2nd and 3rd century. For some reason, reading about these spiritual fathers and mothers, really strengthens my faith. It makes it more real to me somehow,)
4. and then LA PIECE DE LA RESISTANCE: a BOOK about BOOKS to READ!!!! Including theological, Christian Living, Secular Non-Fiction/Fiction, Poetry, Non-Secular Fiction/Non-Fiction. I can't TELL you how wonderful it is, and how sad it makes me that I will never be able to read them all. But it's fun reading the little blurbs about each one of them.

But you know, there is just something about OWNING a book that you are in the middle of reading.... There is no pressure to return it, no fines, etc. And yes, yes, I know, it's expensive, and it takes up space, etc. But it's true about that ownership piece....You can UNDERLINE and highlight.

God's Answer to Anger

I have avoided this blog & the Word of God like the plague. Oh don't get me wrong, I've written entries in my head, and I continue to read my reguritated Christian self-help books, but I have stayed away from my reading of the Bible. A passage in Colossians has me stuck. It answers my question of dealing with anger. And, well, I don't really want to apply it right now, and I can't even see when I could even into the future. It's not a present reality. My heart and mind are so stubborn. But, that's where I've been at, & continue to be at.

Here's the passage:

12God has chosen you. You are holy and loved by Him. Because of this, your new life should be full of loving-pity. You should be kind to others and have no pride. Be gentle and be willing to wait for others. 13Try to understand other people. Forgive each other. If you have something against someone, forgive him. That is the way the Lord forgave you. 14And to all these things, you must add love. Love holds everything and everybody together and makes all these good things perfect. 15Let the peace of Christ have power over your hearts. You were chosen as a part of His body. Always be thankful.

16Let the teaching of Christ and His words keep on living in you. These make your lives rich and full of wisdom. Keep on teaching and helping each other. Sing the Songs of David and the church songs and the songs of heaven with hearts full of thanks to God. 17Whatever you say or do, do it in the name of the Lord Jesus. Give thanks to God the Father through the Lord Jesus.

The Living Translation says for v. 17: "And whatever you do or say, let it be as a REPRESENTATIVE of the LORD JESUS, and come with him INTO THE PRESENCE of GOD the Father to give him your thanks."

Monday, June 05, 2006

Good for my soul

“He will satisfy your needs in a sunscorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.”
- Isaiah 58:11

Summer Reading

Here's what is on my list:
The Search for Significance by Robert McGee
Changes that Heal by Henry Cloud
Unbreakable Bonds by Paul and Cheryl Meier
Love to Eat, Hate to Eat by Elyse Fitzpatrick
Scale Down by Danna Demetre
Wanting to Be Her by Michelle Graham
The Gift of Being Yourself by David Benner
The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brannon Manning

Re-read: Mudhouse Sabbath by Lauren Winner

Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card
Every Thought Captive by Jerusha Clark
When My Faith Feels Shallow by Minette Drumwright Pratt

Now, what's on yours?


I am so angry at someone in my life. I am not sure how to work through it. I have binged/overeaten, isolated myself, screamed & yelled, journaled (some, need to do more), written fake letters to this person, and prayed to God about how I am feeling. I am not sure how to get through it. Every time I think about or see this person, obscenities come to mind. It's taking a lot energy of me, and it's totally wasted on this person that I don't even respect anyway. So, I am just sitting in anger. Advice?