Fill me up, Lord

"You will seek me, & find me when you seek me w/ all your heart," God says. But that is not the whole story. I'm not just a searcher. I'm also a hider. You too. We have to come face-to-face w/ our tendency to hide, to get lost. ~John Ortberg, Love Beyond Reason

Thursday, March 15, 2007

A new day

I realize I am happy right now, but I am in denial about so many things in my life. It's not a fake happiness, but I am really not dealing with certain issues in my life. And maybe that is okay, to take a break, but at the same time, I want to move forward.

This happiness, perhaps contentment, has been a stranger in the past 16 months. So, I welcome it, yet I have to question whether I can sustain it without having to mask the key parts of me that are still in the midst of a slow transformation.

Unrelated: I got 2000 back from the USA. Score!


  • At 10:19 PM, March 16, 2007, Blogger Catherine said…

    2000!!!! How'd you do that?!?!?

    I want to know about these key parts of you, cousin/sister/grace-giver. I want you to know the key parts of me. What do you think?

  • At 7:03 PM, March 19, 2007, Blogger nyukers said…


    I thought I was doing good because I'm getting back $1500--maybe if I had worked all year--I would have done better.

    Let's see--if you look at it from your perspective--I don't think anyone would ever happy.

    I know there are somethings about my life that need to be changed--I also know that I am not ready to change them--so I am going to be happy with what I have now.

    After being sick for so long--I learned that it's pretty easy to be happy when you're not puking up everything you put in your mouth, when you're not a zombie from meds, and when you're not in so much pain you can barely move.

    I am going to relish in my new found health and happiness.

    The rest--well that will come when it comes.

    It's like Julius Caesar says "Death is a necessary end and it will come when it comes"
    I believe that when the time if right my issues will come to the surface and I will deal with them.


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