Fill me up, Lord

"You will seek me, & find me when you seek me w/ all your heart," God says. But that is not the whole story. I'm not just a searcher. I'm also a hider. You too. We have to come face-to-face w/ our tendency to hide, to get lost. ~John Ortberg, Love Beyond Reason

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Shopping, Paul, & Passion

Okay guys, I had Snickers Salad, and it really sucked. I am highly disappointed. The best thing I can say about it is that it is better than licking puke.

I spent a LOAD at the Gap this weekend. And...I admit it....I put it on my credit card. (sorry) But, as a result, I am set for summer. So I won't need to clothes shop until at least October. Anyway, I started out at Banana Republic. I was feeling all good when a gay guy said, "Hey! I like your skirt"! (Ann Taylor, of course) He took about 9-10 of my items to put into a room. Well, I kept on shopping, and had about 6 or 7 additional things to try on. I went to look for my stuff....they couldn't freaking find it. I was so disappointed. And it's not like I wanted to take the time to go searching for all that stuff. I ended up buying a shirt there on sale. THAT's RIGHT FOLKS....on sale!

I terms of reading the New Testament, I read I&II Timothy over the weekend, and tonight I read I&II Thessalonians. If you want to know what you should be going on in your life, read about the church of Thessalonia. Or Thessalonitica? Smrf. I don't know, anyway they are an excellent example of how we are to live.

Also, I opened my Bible this evening to this chapter in I or II Corinithians...and came to passage where Paul talks about how in these days and times it is better for one to remain single.... I was like God, what are you trying to say here? What I am choosing to take away from it, is that God has a plan for me. And for now, it is to minister to others as single woman. He has particular work for me to do as a single, that a married might not have the time to dedicate. I have been praying for a long time in terms of knowing what this work is... in terms of getting involved with a ministry at church or elsewhere. (Of course, his work is for us to share about Him, and to show His love for others.)

You see, in my family you have to have "a cause" or "a passion". For my aunt, it is saving unborn children by way of volunteering a pregnancy care/crisis center. For my mom, it's missions: Haiti & India. My dad, well my mom has assigned him to her cause. And he willingly obliges.

I don't know what my cause is. I am not sure where my passions lie. I know every day I try to bring COMpassion to my job as I interact with my students. I know God has given me with certain gifts in terms of connecting and loving children in a kind and unique way. But is there something more? And not that I have to be DOING... because we don't have to DO things for God or for our salvation (it's faith alone), but I truly WANT to do more for Christ, out of love, and I am not sure what that is. I kind of want God to just drop it on my lap and say, "here ya go". But that's not realistic, and that's kinda scary too! I know I need to be investigating... and I have been.


  • At 9:54 PM, May 31, 2006, Blogger nyukers said…

    I say that maybe your passion is like mine-- I can't have my own kids right now because I am busy raising other people's kids--giving them the love and humanity they need.
    I don't think I could be as good as teacher if I were married and a mom as I am now!

  • At 10:55 AM, June 01, 2006, Blogger Catherine said…

    This might not be what you're talking about at all but...

    I think that a lot of times people in America are looking for The Cause or God's Will for their lives as a huge project they'll be working on for years. That makes sense, because that's how our culture thinks. But when you read the Bible and consider what Jesus actually says there, it sounds like what he wants from us, what His Will is, is something actually quite different. Its being faithful everyday, in the little things; its making the right choices. Its loving God, and loving your neighbor. Its turning the other cheek. Its living justly, loving mercy, and walking humbly with God. I think that often we're so busy looking for The Big Thing that we don't take the (enourmous) amount of time that it takes to really discipline ourselves to live in the way that Christ describes. But if there really is a Big Thing that He has in mind for us, I think it will naturally flow out of years of practicing living as he showed us...and not really something that we can find any other way.

    Just my thoughts. Other thoughts?


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