Fill me up, Lord

"You will seek me, & find me when you seek me w/ all your heart," God says. But that is not the whole story. I'm not just a searcher. I'm also a hider. You too. We have to come face-to-face w/ our tendency to hide, to get lost. ~John Ortberg, Love Beyond Reason

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

The Charge: Be Ye Holy!

Okay. Time to reflect on the day.

Had a great drive to work this morning. My friend C made me a great Christian worship CD. (That is love -the receiving of a "mix tape"!)

Went to a worthless, pointless meeting today. Was frustrated when someone else was late and another person just skipped it because she was "sick". Gave the sickie a dirty look and ignored her later in the day....but because EVERY DAY is being Jesus, I apologized.

We are counting down the school days from A to Z. Today was "I" for ice cream. All day I heard, "When are we getting the ice cream???". "After lunch", I would patiently explain. (Well, as patient as you can be with 4th graders mid-May!) So at lunch time, I ran over to Jewel, and got those little sundae cups. I accidentally bought 12 too many! So, there wasn't enough for I went to other classrooms offering the to another teachers. But apparently, every teacher on my floor is on a diet. (It's bikini season, dontcha know.) SO...there are 2 teachers on my team that give their students tickets as an incentive for good behavior, excellent work, etc. They also can be taken away for various offenses. Where am I going with all this??? Just throughout the year teachers will auction off their "junk" to the kids -whoever is the highest bidder! So I had those two teachers auction off the ice cream. It was quite a hit!

Tonight was my roomie's small group dinner. Wow, can those ladies cook! And there is leftovers! It was nice to meet them. Some of them I knew from a previous group I was in. I almost skipped it. I was feeling sick and then just freaked out by it, but I managed to get my butt downstairs. It was nice to meet people my roomie talks about in conversation. They seem like a nice group.

I wanted to read I & II Peter tonight, but I just got to I Peter 1. I think there is a lot to think about just right there.

"Prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed."
Preparing -check.
Self-control -uh no not really.
Hoping on Grace -I have to ponder more.

What also strikes me is how apparent it is that God's plan of love and redemption is so evident from the beginning of time to the prophets and beyond. That is repeated several times through the chapter.

God is in control. He sees the big picture. We frankly do not. We are stuck in our little moment of RAIN. But verses 6 & 7 promises us greater genuine faith as a result, that will last.

It talks about being "filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy.". Hmmm...yeah, I don't really have that. And I am not always sure how to access it. I think the problem is that I get stuck in my rain/grief/trials, and start the worrying and the fearing, and then I cry out, "WHERE's THE JOY???". The crying out is so loud, that I cannot hear God whisper,

"The joy is right in the midst of all this. Trust me. I will not take away your rain, but I will sit in the rain right with you. I can see ahead that there is place with no rain. And I will walk with you to that place. "

Joy comes from trusting God. Trusting God is a commitment. A daily decision that you have to live out. It's saying that God's plan is plan A. There is no plan B. (to borrow from John Ortberg's thoughts)

PS- The rain concept is from my guru Rob Bell. Don't worry my God is Jesus, but gurus are needed to teach and model.

Why do I question what God is doing? He is a pretty powerful, omnipotent being. But again, I think it is the lack of human understanding and the problem of being stuck in your situation that cause us (well me!) to lack trust.

But trusting God is so much better than worry and fear. I need to choose joy.

What do I need to do differently tomorrow?
Make sure I am ending the school year well. Have patience with my kiddos. Stop judging. Ha, ha like as of tomorrow all judging will be over.... to break it down... start thinking of others as equal as myself, and in other situations, think of MYSELF as equal to others. TRUST GOD. CHOOSE JOY. BE YE HOLY! No problem!


Post a Comment

<< Home