Fill me up, Lord

Resurrection Day

2011-04-24T21:51:00.002-05:00

Have a wonderful Easter Sunday! May the hope & joy of His resurrection resonate in your heart today & everyday.

The Yoga of Fat-Burning?

2011-04-08T17:02:00.000-05:00

A local yoga studio just posted the following link -

"Think yoga is just for stretching and toning? Think again! The Top 5 Fat-Burning Yoga Poses! Can yoga help you burn calories and lose weight? Sure it can! Here are five poses to help you burn fat and tackle weight loss with a positive attitude, plus four yoga styles to help you stay fit."

I definitely don't do yoga to burn fat.

I do yoga to quiet my mind & to connect with my body.
Yoga is "prayer in motion" for me.

If fat-burning is an outcome, wonderful.

But, if one focuses on the fat-burning aspect, you miss out on the deeper levels of this amazing practice.

There is so much focus on the external body out in the marketplace.
The yoga studio for me is where I focus on the internal.
Definitely a counter-cultural shift for some.

Eating as a path of Yoga

2011-03-27T16:52:00.000-05:00

"As important as the food we eat,
if not more so,
is the manner in which we eat.

Any activity in which we engage semiconsciously,
without attentiveness,
merely perpetuates our unconscious patterns
& thus our condition of unenlightenment & suffering.

This holds true also of the way in which we consume our food."
THE PATH OF YOGA by Georg Feuerstein

I'm not waiting...

2011-03-27T14:34:00.000-05:00

I have conversations with people from time to time about what I'm doing in my life in the present and in the past -since college maybe. I get comments like "That's crazy." "I could never do that." "You're so brave."

I'm not repeating this to compliment myself.

I guess I have just gotten to the point in my life where I am not waiting around any longer.

I'm not going to wait to hiking in Vermont until one of my friends is ready to do so. I'm not skipping seeing that movie in the theaters because none of my friends want to see it.

If there's something I really want to accomplish in my life, I have to be willing to do it alone.

And it's not brave. It's about living your life, and making every moment count.
It's about fulfilling what needs to be done in order to live the life you want.

It may be breaking a mold, but someone has to be the first. Usually, people come along and follow.

But, I just can't wait for the followers.

And so, I tread on making my own path.

As Bhagavan Das said, "Be. Here. Now."

My 1st Twitter Chat

2011-03-24T20:26:00.000-05:00

I had a fun, but frustrating time at the Intuitive Eating (#ended) twitter chat yesterday. I could read what the participants were saying, but everytime I added my 2cents, those thoughts were not posted. I don't know what I did wrong. Help?

Anyway, Evelyn Tribole, co-author of the groundbreaking "Intuitive Eating," was the featured guest.

She shared that she is working on the third edition of "Intuitive Eating:, and it should be available by the end of 2011.

Two other tidbits:
Three Intuitive Eating obstacles are: Distraction, self-care, & body-appreciation.
"Self-Care means: Setting Boundaries. Getting enough sleep. Saying no."

Do you feel the love? For yourself? For your physical body?

Tip-toeing off the mat

2011-03-20T02:06:00.000-05:00

I went to yoga 5 times in the last week. It's been a beautiful thing. Not every moment, but over all, I look back with pride and admiration of myself and the person I am becoming and am.

I think I am very tired of hiding. But, it's so scary to peek out under all these layers of physical & emotional weight.

But maybe it's time to continue to take that yoga off of the mat, if even for just a moment.

How are you living your yoga? How are you revealing your true self?

Dating

2011-02-26T23:35:00.002-06:00

So I've been dating a lot lately...
not boys unfortunately,
but trying out new situations, new places and spaces.

I've been a tourist to new ways of doing things.
Things I disagree with.
Philosophies that make me go.. Whah?

So much I resonate with,
and the rest?

I leave behind.

Commitment phobe? Probably.
But my life is fun
as a
tourist and habitual dater.

Be a participant!

2011-02-24T00:15:00.000-06:00

Slow and steady wins the race. Even though there is no winner.

I almost typed "Slow and steady runs the race."
A typo yes,
but actually that's what life is about...
running & participating.

God created us with internal,
in born signals
that tell us when we are hungry and satisfied.

Unfortunately, we have learned to tune them out.
But when we are still,
and when we listen,
we can relearn them.

So excited for my journey.

Wisconsin Politics

2011-02-20T16:13:00.002-06:00

Ending collective bargaining rights does nothing to help the financial outlook of Wisconsin.

The 5 states that don’t allow collective bargaining for teachers have 5 worst ACT/SAT scores in the nation. WI tied for 2nd …

The reason why teacher salaries are so low is because of the insurance coverage school districts pay for. If you take away that, then you had better raise teacher salaries.

After this, who would actually want to be a teacher? The answer to that question scares me.

You are entitled to your opinion. And I am entitled to mine.

Isn’t interesting that the governor doesn’t want to TOUCH the fire/police unions/contracts, because those unions supported the governor in the last election?

Pleasure

2011-02-20T13:29:00.000-06:00

I'm excited to participate in the Self-Discovery Word-by-Word Blogger Series.

This month's word is PLEASURE!!!

The dictionary defines pleasure as "a sensual gratification; a feeling of happy satisfaction & enjoyment; entertainment contrasted with doing things out of necessity."

From a dieter's perspective, the word pleasure is very sinful and connotes thoughts of cheating, binge-ing, and other unhealthful patterns.

At this point of my life pleasure is a positive word and symbolizes freedom. Freedom, balance and discovery.

I find pleasure in being with my girlfriends who have known me for ten years and longer. They recall my mishaps and stories with joy and love over fondue and chocolate, of course. Is there any other way?

Pleasure is being part of a book club, and surrounding myself with people that have a voracious love of reading, even if it's not the classics!! :) Pleasure is finally reading a book I've had on my list for months, and enjoying it to its fullest.

Doing vinyasa yoga, feeling the bliss of movement as you dance...
- even though your child inside tells you that dancing is wrong, and then you tell that child to "F-off".

There is pleasure in telling "the voice" to F-off.

For me pleasure equates freedom.

Oprah's Vegan Challenge

2011-02-02T22:11:00.001-06:00

I watched Oprah's "1 Week Vegan Challenge" on television last night. I have no desire to give up animal products, especially meat, but the show does renew my awareness of eating responsibly. It also revitalized my enthusiasm for eating less-processed foods, especially fresh produce in the line of fruit and veg.

I loved that Michael Pollan called for a "Dietary Revival." I immediately pulled out my copy of "The Omnivores Dilemma."

However, I am snowed in. So I must go "freezer diving." It's SO SCARY!!!! :)

Now I want to hear from you:
What actions have you taken to eat in a more ethic manner?

Fairly Mindful

2011-01-19T22:57:00.000-06:00

Fairly Mindful is much more manageable and achievable than fully mindfully.
Fairly is doable and reachable. (Do I sound like a SMART goal?)

Even in the midst of distraction, I can take slices of moments to be fairly mindful.
Like an orange slice, not a banana peal.

However, why I would I settle for fairly instead of fully?

In what circumstances do you struggle with being fairly/fully mindful?

Necessary Endings & What would love say?

2011-01-18T18:06:00.000-06:00

I was listening to an interview with one of my favorite authors, Dr. Henry Cloud. His book "Boundaries" was a life-changer for me.

I have a funny story about a "Necessary Ending" with my small group Bible study. It was clear that we needed to end. I even called a "funeral" for our group at Panera. I literally called it a small group funeral. As a result, the group decided not to die but to go on life support for another 6 mos. YEEESH! At least I tried.

I need and desire a "necessary ending" with my relationships. My old habits do not bring me the results I desire. I need to revolutionize and prune this people, things, and habits that just don't do it.

What would love say?

Only Kindness Matters... (when it comes to change)

2011-01-17T23:49:00.001-06:00

I have that lyric of Jewel's in my head this evening.

I watch so many weight-loss reality shows. I don't know why. (This evening it was A&E's HEAVY.)

I see their anguish -mental and physical. I see trainers yelling at them to change. Threatening them that they will die. But when you are so lost in the midst of your pain... when you are buried in self-deprecation... death as a consequence is a not a motivation to change. For some, it seems like a viable solution.

When it comes to change...
only kindness matters.

Kindness always.

Your old habits and pathways are not made new by lecture, criticism, nor threats.
They are not made new by physical torture nor vitamins.

Your soul has to change.
The soul responds to kindness.
The soul responds to love and deity.

The soul cries out for Her Creator.
And the creator is about kindness.

Single in the Suburbs

2011-01-13T18:44:00.002-06:00

When discussions of infertility arise, my only thought is, "At least you have a husband." Not the right attitude at all. But, it's how it is for me. Infertility discussions make me want to scream.

Jesus is enough.
But it doesn't feel like that all of the time.
And that's when it's time to move from a shallow faith to one much more deep.

Mindful Living is NOT a chore...

2011-01-08T16:05:00.000-06:00

Dr. Michelle May, author of "Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat", posed this question today, "Can you think of cooking as part of mindful eating instead of as a chore?"

I REALLY struggle with organization. So cooking is a nightmare for me. The planning, the grocery shopping, the prep work, the serving, the putting away. Just thinking about it now makes my chest feel very tight.

CHOKING EVERYWHERE.
Why do I let my anxiety choke?

Why do I ask why?
I decided to just sit back and observe the sensation.

Guess what. Geneen Roth was right.
Sometimes feelings just want to be acknowledged.
Sometimes you have to greet your anxiety, move over, and make a place for it.
Then you can go about your business.

Dr. May goes on to say that,

"At times, cooking feels like a chore you have to get through.
However, no matter how mundane ANY task is,
there is an opportunity to be fully present and mindful.

When you interact with the ingredients that fuel your body using all of your senses, you discover the peace and joy of the present moment.

Start with small steps like slicing an apple and smearing on peanut butter.
See, touch, smell, listen, and taste
while noticing the little things
that are so often missed in our rush
to get to the next activity!
Savor and enjoy!"

So, cooking can be a spiritual event if we let it.

For more information about Dr. May, you can go to her website at:
http://www.amihungry.net/

REL*ISHing life

2011-01-01T20:15:00.000-06:00

Wondering how I might savor, delight, and RELISH all experiences in life, particularly that with eating, relationships, and being in the present moment.

Trying to Pivot towards Balance

2010-11-30T00:18:00.000-06:00

This is my journey right now....

Fast, explosive, hurry/hurry

OH WAIT....

I'm headed somewhere else now....

Slow down
Mindful
Intentional
Authenticity
Being Present

skids off into the sunset
pauses to catch the streak of red through the sky

ambles to a ramble

back on
back off

the seesaw of life goes up and down
trying to pivot
towards balance

The Something of Oz

2010-11-12T19:10:00.002-06:00

Windows, and Mirrors, & Self-Discovery
OH MY

Windows, and Mirrors, & Self-Discovery
OH MY

Windows, and Mirrors, & Self-Discovery
OH MY

The Waiting

2010-11-12T19:09:00.000-06:00

The waiting is unbearable.
But, fortunately or unfortunately,

Life

is all about the waiting times
the in between times.

And it's how we sit through those times
which is a reflection
of how
we deal with life

and what our truest beliefs
are.

Bitter & Sweet: a duality of feelings

2010-11-12T18:45:00.001-06:00

I just won a free copy of Shauna Niequist's new book "Bittersweet"!

BITTERSWEET

I think most changes in life are bitter & sweet.
I remember my job change-
closer to family, more continuing education offered,

but less pay, loss of friends, loss of ministry.

My singleness is very bittersweet
-I don't have children nor a mate,
but I do have independence.

The bitter & sweet have different components,
but are all apart of my journey

& really a window to who I am as a person

& my relationship w/God.

Wish I was over it

2010-10-02T20:29:00.000-05:00

How you give up a relationship that you have had for over 25 plus years? Even though it no longer serves you and is toxic but is so strong that you fall back into it at every attempt to break up with it. It makes it even harder when it's not a person and you need portions of it to survive.

Exactly Right Now

2010-09-25T15:20:00.000-05:00

Geneen Roth says you're not stuck if you're not trying to go anywhere.
And that's supposed to be a good thing?

Maybe you are stuck because there isn't a direction you are headed for. Or you are not heading in a direction.

Headache.

I'm putting my directions away for this moment...
just going to enjoy or at least sit in this one particular moment.

10 hours before, after, and during

2010-09-23T22:14:00.003-05:00

I'm a hide-r. That's a fact. Going out to the party is not my thing. It's the worrying before, worrying during, and the worrying after. Like 10 years after. 10 minutes after. 10 weeks after. It's too much.

It's a balancing act.... empty spaces, not too many, not too few... just enough....

Walking on a tight rope....

Just give me the remote so I can freeze the scene
and
hide.

Nothingness & Everything

2010-09-22T23:32:00.002-05:00

Some days I think about writing here. Other days, it's too scary to type what I think. Because it makes it more real, and then I have to deal with it. Living in a fog, is great in the moment, but over a lifetime? Disappointing.

On being "footprints" & leaving legacies.

2009-04-27T21:17:00.002-05:00

A Worthwhile Meditation,
revised from a post by Margaret Feinberg
This meditation from Cardinal Newman.

“God has created me to do Him some definite service; He has committed some work to me which He has not committed to another.

I have my mission --

I may never know it
in this life,

but I shall be told it in the next.
I am a link in a chain,
a bond of connection between persons.
He has not created me for nothing. I shall do good, I shall do His work.

Therefore I will trust Him. Whatever, wherever I am. I cannot be thrown away. If I am in sickness, my sickness may serve Him; in perplexity, my perplexity may serve Him; if I am in sorrow, my sorrow may serve Him. He does nothing in vain. He knows what He is about. He may take away my friends, He may throw me among strangers, He may make me feel desolate, make my spirits sink, hide my future from me -- still He knows what He is about.”

Amen. And amen.
Sometimes I don't feel like I have a worthwhile purpose. I think, "How could and why would God ever want to use me?"

But it's things like this that remind me that I am part of a bigger picture.
That I matter.

A lot of time we tend to forget that.

May I allow His glory to be evident in everything and may I take action in faith; it is through action that God uses me and changes me.

Oh, the mystery of the Triune God!

Personal Rhythms

2009-04-19T13:49:00.003-05:00

I love Sacred Rhythms by Ruth Haley Barton and reading about St. Benedict's Rule of Life.

Establishing my own personal rhythms...

Recognition of the fact that there are times of life when it can't all be done.
Spending some time with community, and yet...
Leaving Empty Spaces for personal alone time.
Getting the proper amount of sleep.
Be disciplined and organized.
Don't worry about doing a perfect job. You can't.
Do a "good enough" job. Which is hard to do when you want to be the best.

Intentional preparation

Someone blogged -"The key for me is "pace": do what you can with the time you've got and give God thanks. Get up tomorrow and go at it again."

---

What Rhythms work well for you? How has God help you identify them?

????

2009-04-03T18:23:00.001-05:00

What is selfish behavior and what is healthy self-care?
How can people change the destructive patterns in their lives?

Teacher Gifts/Horror

2008-11-30T12:17:00.002-06:00

I am tired of the mugs, candles, etc. Why not just cash? I have SO many notes. And homemade goods usually just get thrown out, as teachers assume the children and their germs have "helped out" with the baking. As for bookstores, not all teachers like to read. Even a GAS CARD would be better. Yes, it's the thought that counts, but when you have 23 "thoughts" every year for 25 years.....

I am not being selfish, I am being realistic. It gives me anxiety every year.

http://wheelsonthebus.wordpress.com/2008/11/28/step-away/

Blessings!

Step away
November 28, 2008 · 17 Comments

Today is Black Friday here in the U.S. Traditionally, this is the day that Americans, groggy from their obscene over-eating, head out to malls and Target and Costco where they indulge in obscene over-purchasing. The naysayers would have us believe that this year we are all too freaked out by the economy to actually do any holiday shopping, but somehow I suspect a few of you are about to fire up the old Pontiac and head over there, anyhow.

While you are at the mall, strolling past tween-targeted displays of skimpy clothing and kiosks filled with useless electronics, you will come upon a Yankee Candle. Actually, you will probably smell it first, that distinct mix of fake spice and wax. You will look down at your list of obligatory gifts, and you will see the names of several of your children’s teachers on it. You will think to yourself, “If I go in here, I can cross three gifts off the list all at once.”

As a former teacher, as a mother, as an environmentalist, I beg you: Please, do not give in to temptation. If you buy that teacher a scented candle, here is what will happen. The cellophane wrapper and ribbon will end up in a landfill. The candle will go onto a shelf or into a box with all the other scented candles the poor woman has received over the years. There, it will gather dust, forgotten except for once a year when the teacher opens the box to shove in the latest installment of holiday gifts. Decades from now, her heirs will find the stash as they clean out her house to put it on the market. And, unless someone has found a use for scented candles by that time, it too will end up in a landfill.

Step away from the Yankee Candle.

Your child’s teacher does not want another vanilla-pumpkin-spiced candle. She knows it, I know it, and, deep down, you know it, too. While we’re at it, let’s go over a few other things she does not want. She does not want a coffee mug. She does not want yet another $5 picture frame. She does not want a gift book of sweet platitudes to put in her bathroom. And, I am so sorry to inform you, she does not want homemade cookies, although in that last case she’ll appreciate the effort before throwing them away. Because, you see, you were not the only one with that idea, and if she eats all the fudge and cookies that parents prepare for her, she will not fit her teaching clothes anymore. On her salary, she really cannot afford to buy new ones.

This person (who I have gendered female for simplicity’s sake) spends all day trying to educate your precious offspring. Please, please, get her something useful. Get her a freakin’ gift card.

“But,” you protest, “that’s so impersonal.” To which I answer: who gives a shit? If it is the thought that counts, show the woman that you think enough of her to give her something to help make up for her pathetic salary.

And, please, spare me the argument that you don’t want to spend very much. I know times are hard, really I do. But, the first place to economize is not your kids’ teachers, nor, for that matter, is it your postman, your trash collector, your place of worship, or your favorite charity. The first place to cut is the gifts you give immediate family. I’m not suggesting you deny your children holiday gifts, but do they really need as many as you have on that list? Can they do without a fancy video game so you can instead show gratitude to those around you? And, if the budget is tight, can you and your spouse agree not to give one another gifts this year?

Of course, many people have already made these cuts, and I am certainly not suggesting you must spend a lot on teachers. For those who really cannot afford to spend anything, I promise the teacher will know that and be grateful for simply a kind word, but the rest of you can funnel the cost of baking ingredients into s small gift card that will not go bad in a few days. If all the parents in the class gave a very small contribution, you could probably get a pretty nice gift card, which I guarantee the teacher will appreciate more than twelve scented candles, eight batches of cookies, and a couple of coffee mugs.

If you don’t want to organize the class or perhaps all the parents in the group despise one another, consider a small gift card to a place where $5 can actually buy something: a coffee shop or a card store. Or, if you must buy a tangible gift, how about stationery? After all, she will need something on which she can compose thank you notes for all those scented candles.

Summer Reading

2008-07-08T22:10:00.002-05:00

Thus far I have read the following books this summer:

Ya-Yas in Bloom by Rebecca Wells
&
A Red-bird Christmas by Fannie Flagg

& for school:
Vampires Don't Wear Polka Dots (The Adventures Of The Bailey School Kids)
Lost Treasure of the Emerald Eye (Geronimo Stilton)
Zack Files 01: My Great-grandpa's in the Litter Box (Zack Files)

Heartbreak & Lemonade

2008-06-16T19:58:00.004-05:00

I started reading "The Shack" after my mentor recommended it. She warned me that she loved some parts of it, and simply disagreed with other points. Father God is an African-American woman, the Holy Spirit is an Asian young woman, and Jesus alledgedly a "not attractive" male, to the surprise of the narrator.

After Chuck Colson bashed it, I REALLY wanted to read it. I did, but the beginning was just too terribly heartbreaking/gruesome, and for now I have put it down. However, this morning on MOODY, they were discussing it, and mentioned that the program Haven Today, will be doing a three-day special on it. I plan on listening. 9pm CST. Apparently, some Christians are a little wary of his portrayal of the Trinity, meaning they believe it is not totally theologically correct. But the speaker on Moody, said yes some will find it controversial, but it is not outside of orthodoxy. You have to keep in mind that the author is not a theologian, and never intended it to be published. He just wrote it for his immediate family, but it grew.... and has been on the Amazon & New York Times best-seller lists ever since, read by believers and seekers alike.

I started reading "The Pact" by Jodi Picoult, as it was highly recommended by my collegues at work. I read her book "My Sister's Keeper", and it was amazing. Well, "The Pact" was just too depressing and again heartbreaking.

My Aunt J just gave me a copy of the book "Mistaken Identity" to borrow. It's about the tragedy that took place at Taylor University, where they misidentified the bodies, and had a funeral for the wrong girl. Maybe I will read that next.

PS: Have you tried the frozen lemonade at Panera Bread? It is amazing, and only 120 calories.

Beam me up.

2008-05-22T21:53:00.001-05:00

I spent $65 on gas today. And it was at a cheap gas station... in a cheaper county....

Dreaming of Hussein

2008-05-19T07:43:00.003-05:00

I had a dream that I was in the Senate listening to them take attendance. It was taking forever. You see, after each state's roll was taken, then the senators had a chance to share what legislation they'd like to pass for the year. A woman senator from IL (make-believe -not Carol Mosely Braun -that would have been a nightmare!) proposed an amendment that would tie the presidency to gaining the popular vote rather than the electoral. I was concerned about this, and since I was sitting next to Senator Obama, I asked him about it -whether we could do it in a year or not. It was very nice about it. Next I wanted to discuss with him why evangelicals did not support ERA. (I KNOW why... but in the dream wanted to discuss it.)

Interestingly enough, I was "keeping score" of the attendance/roll call much like you would at a baseball game in terms of taking notes on the game play on the field.

Saint Beverly

2008-05-18T16:16:00.003-05:00

Pray for my friend P. Her mom died on Friday.

Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints. (Ps 116.15)

Being Missional in Suburbia: the grass ain't greener

2008-05-02T17:29:00.001-05:00

As someone who lives and serves in an inner city community, I am a very strong advocate for increased Christian involvement in the inner city, but only because that it the context to which I am called and can see the need.

However, I am not blind the broader needs.

I have said it many times before, but it is worth saying again:

Suburbia is a far more challenging context in which to be truly missional than the inner city in so many ways.
While the problems in the inner city are many, they are also largely out in the open for many to see.
Further, because so few Christians genuinely engage the community missionally, there is a freedom to explore and experiment with creative ways of serving God and our neighbours.

In suburbia the culture of respectability and privacy means that the very real problems are often
hidden behind a veneer of manicured lawns and smiling faces.

Further, the culture is less forgiving about innovation in ministry.
All this to say that, while many people pat me on the back for living and working in the inner city,
my heroes are those who genuinely contend with the culture of suburbia for Christ
without abandoning it
or compromising within it.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008
http://missional.blog.com/
-Jamie Arpin-Ricci
"a goodly read" says, LGirl

And you?

2008-04-02T02:17:00.002-05:00

I am grateful for:
my ceiling fan
episodes of The Office
thyroid medication, iron, and B12 supplements
curly hair
the days I have confidence
Raspberry Ice Crystal Lite
good friends who know you too well
new friends who don't know all your quirks quite yet
the possibilities of future romantic entanglements
sandwiches
Vodka Caviar OPI nail polish
the wisdom of the prophet Daniel

Intuitive Eating

2008-02-18T19:30:00.009-06:00

I really want to encourage you guys to check out the book Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch.

Here's the Amazon link:!

Here's the official website: www.intuitiveeating.com!

Here's an interview with the co-author Elyse on youtube: Elyse explains the principles.

Ash Wednesday

2008-02-06T13:00:00.000-06:00

Ash Wednesday

Yet even now,
says the Lord,
return to me with all your heart,
with fasting,
with weeping
and with mourning; rend your heart
and not your clothing.

Return to the
Lord your God,
for he is gracious
and merciful,
slow to anger
and abounding in steadfast love.

--Joel 2:12,13 (NRSV)

New Year's Resolution:

2008-01-03T15:18:00.000-06:00

to record thoughts & words of gratitude for the things I do have.

Commitment with Community: This is love.

2007-12-11T14:53:00.000-06:00

There are a number of us at work that have the following agreement with each other:

-if for some reason an individual amongst us has to take some sort of unexpected leave from school, the rest of us are to immediately go into the individual's classroom & remove any ungraded papers

-if an individual is unexpectedly sent to the ER from school in an ambulance, someone is to remove all jewelery from the said individual including rings before the emergency vehicle departs

-if one of us dies, we are to come to the funeral in separate cars, so it looks like more people showed up.

This one makes me cry everytime I hear it...

2007-11-22T11:08:00.000-06:00

Make us one, make us one
Make us one, undivided body
Make us one, make us one
For the sake of Your name make us one

Make us love, make us love
Make us love so the world will know we love You
Make us love, make us love
For the sake of Your name make us love

Make us pure, make us pure
Make us pure and righteous. make us holy
Make us pure, make us pure
For the sake of Your name make us pure

-----
Thus ends my Twila posting obsession for today.

Referenced below; I love it's simplicity.

2007-11-22T11:04:00.000-06:00

Christ in us
Christ in us
Christ in us, the hope of glory
Christ in us
There is just
One confession, Christ in us

God with us
God with us
Who could ever be against us
God with us
There is just
One confession, God with us

There is just one confession
Christ in us

Gratitude & Snow

2007-11-22T10:57:00.000-06:00

Il neige!!!
on my birthday even!!! How special. Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving everyone. I am thankful for a lot of things in my life, and thought I'd mention a few....

-for my union's contract negotiations being almost complete.... 9 months early! Unheard of! What a load off my mind for sure.

-a dear friend being able to get pregnant...

-a job that I love, that changes and challenges me everyday

-a home of my own

-my 1st digital camera, courtesy of mes parents pour mon anniversaire

-BOOKS! especially the 2 Henri Nouwen devotionals I found for Christmas & Lent!!

-Music... Can't wait to hear your concert Dad, plus I love the Techny Towers Bookstore... such an eclectic collection of books.... and I love going out for dinner afterward.... also for "Music Machine" which was referenced in Cath's blog: catherinemcniel@blogspot.com & for the Twila Paris hymn CD she lent me. I MIGHT give it back, if you make me a copy.... I like the song "Christ in us"... it reminds me of the prayers of St. Patrick

-tangents & randomness, & the ability of my loved ones to make an effort to follow along my train of thought

-BINDER CLIPS!!! I LOVE THEM! Not the cutesy ones, just regular black & silver... but last year I even asked for them for my bday... sigh.... it's a love affair of unspeakable fathom

-health, loving family, hair dye, Burt's Bees chap stick, Minute Maid Cherry Limeade & I think I should stop while I am ahead.

Holiday Update

2007-11-21T17:38:00.000-06:00

Well, Tuesday morning I finished up my holiday shopping! Bam! Just like that! (Thought I'd throw in some onomotopoiea for ya.) Thank you AMAZON.COM! Actually, I have to order something for my g-ma through virtualflowers & pick up something for my Dad. It's not my fault they don't take Discover.

I printed out my Christmas letter yesterday. Most of my cards are addressed and stamped.

But here's the thing..................

I have no stamps.

And I for some reason ALWAYS procrastinate in getting them. I HATE going to the post office ANYTIME of year... & always forget that they have them at Jewel or Dominicks.
So I cannot say for sure that they will be sent prior to Valentine's Day. Hopefully, by PRESIDENT's Day though.

Bon/ne Anniversaire a moi!

2007-11-21T17:26:00.000-06:00

I love where my birthday falls in the calendar. Typically I have p-t conferences, then my bday (sometimes during conferences which is okay because then I celebrate @ work), and then Tgiving, and then D's bday, & then p's anniversary, & the C-mas! I'm not trying to take the Christ out of Christmas, just feeling the abbreviation instead.

P-t's went very well. It's nice to have parents who actually take responsibility for their children's behavior/learning rather than blaming peers/teachers for the students' deficits/misbehvior. It's not... "What are YOU going to do about it...." Rather... "How can I help my child at home?". This year's classes' parents don't treat me like the cleaning lady, they treat me with respect. And do you know why??? Because they are all FOREIGN!!! And I LOVE it!!! Now this is going to sound REALLY racist, but the downside to have ELL parents is that you end up with some VERY INTERESTING holiday gifts.... Sigh.

A side note... ever since I starting teaching in BG, I use the phrase "knock on wood" ALL the time. I'm not superstitious... it's just habit!!

Anyway... back to MY bday...
I was able to go downtown to see the lights & window's at the former Marshall Fields. (I cannot bear to use that other M-word... as the girl I tutor calls it, "Stupid, Macy's!)Martha Stewart decorated the tree this year, & she did a really nice job. It was different layers of color all the way up the tree. Of course we ate in the Walnut Room, and had the traditional lunch & dessert: chicken pot pie, Mrs. Field's Special sandwich, snowman sundae, & FRANGO mint pie. I went with my cousin T & her 3 kids... and the kids were so funny while we were waiting in line... they were going around from Frango box to Frango box, sniffing them all! Cute.

Well, it's off to Jamesons' Steakhouse for bday dinner! 32 is great!

I kid you not.

2007-11-05T21:51:00.000-06:00

Recently I gave our first trimester social studies assessment. My eyes popped out of my head & my jaw just dropped when I read this client's answers.

How has Illinois' physical environment changed over time?
It was a war a long time ago and then it changed because the President said that people have to change it to Chicago.

How do you think Illinois' physical environment will continue to change?
It will change when you see black people in a new state that they never been before.

Verbatim, people.

Advice: The Great Commandment

2007-11-01T00:06:00.000-05:00

"Love yourself enough to fill your own love tank,
so you can share that love with others.

And build an intimate friendship with the real God,
not just the "Heavenly version of your earthly father."

Think God outside the box.

Chat with Him throughout every day,
like you would a best friend accompanying you."

-Dr. Paul Meier (Meier Clinics)

Missed Opportunity

2007-10-28T14:40:00.000-05:00

It's lunch time! Well, really it's 2:48ish. I am a little disappointed because I had a real craving for a McDonald's' vanilla ice cream cone, so I indulged and totally enjoyed it. But I want "Sunday Dinner". But I am not hungry. So now no fun lunch? What? A Sunday without a Sunday Dinner?

Dinner = special noon meal
Supper = early evening meal (very casual)
Is this a "last name" family thing?

Maybe hunger will kick in for a fun Sunday supper. I'll try to whoop it up then. Sigh.

*Side note (continuing my recent obsession with blogger spell check): Is it sad that they have "McDonald's" in their dictionary? (I missed spelled it, and the correct name came up.) Weirdness.

Not black & white: Gray for God

2007-10-28T14:35:00.001-05:00

Why are people so intent on labeling people?
Po-mo, modern, fundamentalist, evangelical?

Does it really matter?

Let's just have community and be Jesus.

******
(OK, now that I write this, I forget how having a label just makes me more comfortable whether it is a child's learning disability or dealing with a mental diagnosis, etc.)

Why are human beings so uncomfortable with gray and ambiguity?

*****
Let's just listen to each other.
Not babble to hear yourself speak
& prove that YOU are right and you can't be wrong.
***
I just spell-checked... I am so proud that I spelled ambguity correctly! I get a sticker! (Or maybe a Sunday nap.)

Untitled

2007-10-28T14:21:00.000-05:00

I am pondering whether I should title this "Don't Judge a Book by it's Cover" or "First Impressions".

First impressions although sometimes erronously made, are nevertheless lasting ones. So be yourself & put forth a positive impression. On the other hand, when you get a facial, and it's a Chinese male without any teeth, hold judgement.

So, the last two weeks I've gotten into this routine of after going to church on Sunday going to Whole Foods.

Reason #1 I love their samples.
Cath- I think you said once that in college when the dorm didn't serve supper on Sunday nights, you and F would just "eat" at Whole Foods.

Reason #2
It forces me to shop for the week. It ensures I have food in the house. I don't know why but when I start running out of food, it never occurs to me to go grocery shopping. I just start eating out for every meal. Until I am so mad at myself for doing that and then "Ding! The refridgerator light in my head turns on, and I go shop. But I usually shop for like 3 weeks worth, and then I run out, and thus the cycle continues. STOP THE INSANTIY! I needed a day of the week to make my shopping a routine in my weekly schedule. But after work I am so exhausted I always want to go straight home. Which leads to #3....

Reason #3
It is right on the way home from church. You can't miss it. There is no way to avoid going by it.

Reason #4
I buy 3 containers of cut up fruit there. Yes, it is a waste of money, but otherwise people I wouldn't be eating fruit, unless you count jello & yogurt as fruit servings.
My current favorite is a mix of blackberries, raspberries, & strawberries. I also get kiwi & strawberries. Last week I tried grapes. Eh. Boring. I NEVER GET MELON unless I am feeling guilty about the price.

Okay back to the beginning of this entry....
A woman kind of cut me off when we were both entering the store with are cart. I apologized and she just kind of scowled and had an ugly look about her. Later I was buying some rolled oats... I saw her getting flax seed, which for some reason has always intrigued me. (Does it have omega-3s? I forget...) Anywho, I asked her if she put it in yogurt or cereal or something. Her face just lit up and smiled and explained she was so used to taking it (1 tbsp. a day) she just swallowed it with water. (Editor's Note: how boring!). But anyway, I assume what feelings other people are having, whereas as a result of the conversation I could see that she was just shy and that was probably why she didn't interact with me earlier. So don't try to intpret other people based on 1 slight collision at Whole Foods. We actually had a nice conversation...

Toward Contentment

2007-10-28T01:54:00.000-05:00

"We are surrounded by simple pleasures and the possibility of sipping and savoring our very earthy, very physical lives. Contentment awaits us, inviting us to savor each moment, and in doing so, to honor the God who give us life."
-Lisa Graham McMinn, The Contented Soul: The Art of Savoring Life

One of the Church's Many Bizarre Practices

2007-10-28T01:52:00.000-05:00

"We shrank the Lord's Supper into the world's tiniest combo meal that comes with one Chiclet-sized wafer and one nonrefillable thimbleful of Welch's."
-Sarah Cunningham, Dear Church

Recent musings...

2007-10-27T10:05:00.000-05:00

I found it disheartening that former-Gov. Jim Thompson is currently representing former disgraced Gov. George Ryan. (almost said JIM Ryan.... who SHOULD have been GOV.) George... the Supreme Court? Really? Just do your time and get it over with. Yes, you are old. Yes, you have heart problems. But you are not fooling anyone. Just look at yourself in the mirror. You done did evil.

Crocs
They are ugly. Stop wearing them unless you are under the age of 15. I don't care if they are comfortable. Y'all look like fools! And maybe you don't care.... but you should. It is bad karma to wear those ridiculous items.

I've been rereading "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn", for like the 840983290483920th time. This time I'm just reading my favorite parts though. What are you all reading? I'd like to read that book by Barbara Kingsolver about utilizing locally-grown food. But at the same time, I have a huge craving for tuna casserole with potato chip crumbs on top. I haven't had that in years.

Finally, I've decided to root for the Rockies even though they have no hope. My dad says they have never won. Plus I heard this remarkable commentary by Chuck Colson that solidified my choice. (Which is interesting because I rarely agree with anything this man has to say.) He talked about the character of this organization and their amazing hiring practices that truly looks for people who will support the virutes that this team/corporation has adopted and adhered to. Who woulda thunk it... character actually counts and pays off! (BTW.. CC is a life-long Boston Red Sox fan). I hope CC has hired some body guards.

the magic number....

2007-10-01T07:41:00.000-05:00

i am sick
i am sick
i will be at home this afternoon
taking a half day off of work
i am sick
i am sick
i told you that I am sick.
Freaking a, i ate a whole roll of ritz crackers
freaking j, i bought a box of ritz crackers

at least the magic number is zero!!! Go cubbies! My family got together to toast their win. It was quite sweet.

sometimes my clients come up to me and say, "teacher, johnny said the "q" word. and i have to think... what the freak is the q word????".

to be or not to be

2007-09-02T17:15:00.000-05:00

Sometimes it's hard to go to somewhere you are not known. Other times it's hard to go somewhere you are known. And then there are the in-betweens.

I went for my usual Sunday morning walk with my friend and saw a police officer directing traffic right at the intersection where I turn into the walking path. All of a sudden there were like 50 runners than went by.

I thought, "Crap! It's the (local town where I slave) Stampede!". What if I see someone I know? I wasn't really dressed for public viewing.

Well, it was kind of fun to be walking with all these sweaty, tired, & hot runners going by.... why do people run? We should run from Osama, and that's about it.

Then all of a sudden....

"Hi ***my name***!"
"Hi, J!"
"Nice to see you, _______!"

---- I saw the assistant principal at our junior high, a 1st grade teacher from my "sister" school, and 2 former parents. ----

I was worried about what I was wearing, but please now that I think about it, they were the ones breathing like dogs.

These other runners, thought that my friend and I were just race participiants that had slowed wayyyyyyyyyy down, and encouraged us by saying, "Hey, keep it up! You can do it!" And of course I responded by saying, "Hey, thanks!". We even were handed water!

It was nice to be known.

There are no cats in America, & the streets are lined with cheese.

2007-08-28T07:39:00.001-05:00

What is this from? Sorry, no prize, just the satisfaction of being really awesome.

Fill in the blank...

2007-08-27T19:10:00.000-05:00

I shamelessly stole this from another blog...

"Name a ____________ that has helped/challenged you on your spiritual journey:”

1. Book. (No more than 2)

2. Piece of music.

3. Work of art.

4. Film. . .

5. Unusual engagement with popular culture.

I'm still working on my answers, but so far...
1. Love Beyond Reason/Chronicles of Narnia
2. Handel's Messiah, Haydn's Creation/St. Matthew's Passion (Bach, I believe)
3.
4.
5. I think visiting Salt Lake City just broke my heart and gave me a renewed passion for/of the urgency of saving souls. Also, visiting a dump/ghetto in Nairobi.

*Remember, it doesn't necessarily have to be a "sacred" piece... it's fun to see how the secular often reflects the sacred even with or without intention!

I don't think some of you are getting it. I need to know YOUR answers.... (or else!)

Because I don't understand it.

2007-08-26T23:59:00.001-05:00

I don't fear death. I fear eternity.

No superstar skills required -only love.

2007-08-26T23:45:00.000-05:00

Jealous because you're not John Piper or Darlene Zschech?

Don't be.

I Corinthians says... (verse 8ish)
All the special gifts and powers from God will someday come to an end, but LOVE GOES ON FOREVER. Someday prophecy, and speaking in unknown languages, and special knowledge -these gifts will disappear... even with our spiritual gifts/preaching.... but when we have been made perfect and complete, then the need for these inadequate special gifts will come to an end, and they will disappear.

12ish
We can see and understand only a little about God now, as if we were peering at his reflection in a poor mirror; but someday we are going to see him in his completeness, face to face. Now all that I know is hazy and blurred, but then I will see everything clearly, just as clearly as God sees into my heart right now.

13
There are three things that remain -faith, hope, and love-and the greatest of these is love.

History Repeats Itself?

2007-08-18T21:00:00.000-05:00

I've been watching a documentary about John Lennon this evening, and it's erie to hear statements about war that certainly could be said today. Especially when Richard Nixon said that he had a secret plan to end the war, and then once in office he would not reveal his exit strategy or timeline. Sound familiar? The difference is that in the 60's you were being arrested for such anti-establishment statements, and today they are broadcast every night on CNN and the like.

I guess protest IS patriotism as long as you are not just protesting... you have to put your words into action to evoke change.

Singing "Give Peace a Chance" does not seem all together relavent in today's situation, as the moment we leave presently, tens of thousands of people will die at the hand of racial extremeists. Well, I guess that happened when we left Vietnam as well.

I know we need to leave, but how can we just leave the innocent Iraqis alone and vulnerable... how can we strengthen the leadership skills of their people?

My "high"

2007-06-21T07:17:00.000-05:00

I finally achieved that exercise "high" everyone claims happens to you when you really get into the zone. It's a feeling that I haven't really experienced in probably maybe a year and a half. Previous efforts produced no such experience, and the blessing of being healthy had eluded me. I started to think that my past encounters had been false mamories, and that the "high" had been just a dream.

Until yesterday evening.

It was great. I just wanted to keep going and going and going... Remind you of anything?

I hope to get that back sometime soon.
That is...
if I can move my achy quads and hams!

Beautiful sites and broken people

2007-06-21T07:10:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I visited my old haunting grounds of Zion, IL. It was so fun to be back... to visit my old apartment, see my old school, see the amazing changes to the downtown area. My friend B and I also walked up to Illinois Beach State Park. It was so nice to walk and sit and stare at Lake Michigan with the wind oh so gently tousling my hair. I am a water baby. I wish I lived near water. Well, I do. But it's a nasty retention pond.

I heard news of old "clients". Found out that a student from my 1st year of teaching, who is now a senior in HS was recently arrested for prostitution and had been associated with gangs, and was apparently their little sexual play thing. I don't really know what to say about that.

I remember her as a very quiet girl, sometimes a bit sneaky. We had had suspiscions of things of the above nature going on at home, but whenever she was questioned, she denyed it, and seemed sincere.

Give me my daily bread & no more & no less

2007-06-11T00:32:00.000-05:00

Lord,

Forgive me for my lack of faith, my tendency to hide, my selfish nature, and loveless actions.

Help me to be You to others, instead of consuming my time by filling myself up with things that have no value.

Give me what I need to do your will.

Love,
Me

The Safest Place

2007-06-10T23:13:00.000-05:00

Being married doesn't make you safe...
Being at a certain weight doesn't make you safe...
Having the right friends or the "right" amount of money/lifestyle doesn't seem to work either.

Don't get me wrong, I'd love all of the above.

But...

The safest place on Earth is in my Heavenly Father's arms...

Happy, Busy, & practicing manners

2007-05-22T00:07:00.000-05:00

I'm still happy to be happy. I love that the summer light will naturally wake me up so that I feel good about getting up early. I still get home absolutely exhausted though. Right now I am rereading "Intuitive Eating". You can check it out on my library thing. (to the right)

This is a big week for me. Today my clients had two presentations for their superiors that I had to supervise. They had to research and read a biography, dress up as that person, and give a narrative first-person speech. I was so proud of them. Upper management on my end also attended and gave me kudos which was nice.

I am out Tu & W for training. Weds is also our portfolio night, where my clients and their superiors come in to look at the clients' work samples and projects from throughout the year. I love seeing past clients that I had supervised. Many of these former clients have moved up in the organization.

Thursday we have a field meeting. It actually will be a work related banquet. Yes, we are bringing 140 clients to a Marriott-type of banquet hall, where they will be able to demonstrate culturally-appropriate manners and strategies amongst themselves. This is a culminating activity, as the clients have been trained in this area for many week. Several of their supervisors have thanked me in advance, for planning this work-related banquet.

I just cannot believe that it is almost the end of our organization's financial and educational year. I think I could actually go a bit longer. But... the pool calls!

Impulse Control, Impulse Control, Impulse Control

2007-05-18T00:02:00.000-05:00

I have none.

Not necessarily my views

2007-05-16T23:19:00.000-05:00

Eye of the Beholder
by Victor Davis Hanson
The American Enterprise Online

War-torn Iraq has about 26 million residents, a peaceful California perhaps now 35 million. The former is a violent and impoverished landscape, the latter said to be paradise on Earth. But how you envision either place to some degree depends on the eye of the beholder and is predicated on what the daily media appear to make of each.

As a fifth-generation Californian, I deeply love this state, but still imagine what the reaction would be if the world awoke each morning to be told that once again there were six more murders, 27 rapes, 38 acts of arson, 180 robberies, and 360 instances of assault in California — yesterday, today, tomorrow, and every day. I wonder if the headlines would scream about “Nearly 200 poor Californians butchered again this month!”

How about a monthly media dose of “600 women raped in February alone!” Or try, “Over 600 violent robberies and assaults in March, with no end in sight!” Those do not even make up all of the state’s yearly 200,000 violent acts that law enforcement knows about.

Iraq’s judicial system seems a mess. On the eve of the war, Saddam let out 100,000 inmates from his vast prison archipelago. He himself still sits in the dock months after his trial began. But imagine an Iraq with a penal system like California’s with 170,000 criminals — an inmate population larger than those of Germany, France, the Netherlands, and Singapore combined.

Just to house such a shadow population costs our state nearly $7 billion a year — or about the same price of keeping 40,000 Army personnel per year in Iraq. What would be the image of our Golden State if we were reminded each morning, “Another $20 million spent today on housing our criminals”?

Some of California’s most recent prison scandals would be easy to sensationalize: “Guards watch as inmates are raped!” Or “Correction officer accused of having sex with underaged detainee!” And apropos of Saddam’s sluggish trial, remember that our home state multiple murderer, Tookie Williams, was finally executed in December 2005 — 26 years after he was originally sentenced.

Much is made of the inability to patrol Iraq’s borders with Iran, Jordan, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia, Syria, and Turkey. But California has only a single border with a foreign nation, not six. Yet over 3 million foreigners who snuck in illegally now live in our state. Worse, there are about 15,000 convicted alien felons incarcerated in our penal system, costing about $500 million a year. Imagine the potential tabloid headlines: “Illegal aliens in state comprise population larger than San Francisco!” or “Drugs, criminals, and smugglers given free pass into California!”

Every year, over 4,000 Californians die in car crashes — nearly twice the number of Americans lost so far in three years of combat operations in Iraq. In some sense, then, our badly maintained roads, and often poorly trained and sometimes intoxicated drivers, are even more lethal than Improvised Explosive Devices. Perhaps tomorrow’s headline might scream out at us: “300 Californians to perish this month on state highways! Hundreds more will be maimed and crippled!”

In 2001, California had 32 days of power outages, despite paying nearly the highest rates for electricity in the United States. Before complaining about the smoke in Baghdad rising from private generators, think back to the run on generators in California when they were contemplated as a future part of every household’s line of defense.

We’re told that Iraq’s finances are a mess. Yet until recently, so were California’s. Two years ago, Governor Schwarzenegger inherited a $38 billion annual budget shortfall. That could have made for strong morning newscast teasers: “Another $100 million borrowed today — $3 billion more in red ink to pile up by month’s end!”

So is California comparable to Iraq? Hardly. Yet it could easily be sketched by a reporter intent on doing so as a bankrupt, crime-ridden den with murderous highways, tens of thousands of inmates, with wide-open borders.

I myself recently returned home to California, without incident, from a visit to Iraq’s notorious Sunni Triangle. While I was gone, a drug-addicted criminal with a long list of convictions broke into our kitchen at 4 a.m., was surprised by my wife and daughter, and fled with our credit cards, cash, keys, and cell phones.

Sometimes I wonder who really was safer that week.

©2006 Victor Davis Hanson

My Travel Profile

2007-05-10T07:09:00.000-05:00

Your Travel Profile:

You Are Very Well Traveled in the Midwestern United States (75%)
You Are Very Well Traveled in Western Europe (71%)
You Are Well Traveled in the Northeastern United States (57%)
You Are Well Traveled in Africa (50%)
You Are Somewhat Well Traveled in Eastern Europe (40%)
You Are Somewhat Well Traveled in Scandinavia (40%)
You Are Somewhat Well Traveled in the Southern United States (38%)
You Are Somewhat Well Traveled in the Western United States (21%)
You Are Mostly Untraveled in Canada (20%)
You Are Mostly Untraveled in the United Kingdom (13%)
You Are Mostly Untraveled in Latin America (7%)
You Are Mostly Untraveled in Southern Europe (7%)
You Are Untraveled in Asia (0%)
You Are Untraveled in Australia (0%)
You Are Untraveled in New Zealand (0%)
You Are Untraveled in the Middle East (0%)

How Well Traveled Are You?

Whine with that cheese

2007-04-15T03:25:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to let you know that there is a blog titled "I heart Olaf".

My throat hurts, my ears feel stuffed (and always ringing), and I threw up three times on Friday due to nerves, and twice today due to those darn Target One-a-Day vitamins. (They are almost gone.)

And I can't sleep because I slept all day.

So there.

If I had a fagillion dollars I would hire a maid and a fairy. (the kind in books, not the Will & Grace kind). Although, I am sure that kind of fairy would be a very good friend. There is an orange fairy at my gym that always says hi to me. (I used to go to his tanning salon.)

Love, Love, Love

2007-03-31T14:31:00.000-05:00

Romans 12:9-13

Don't just pretend that you love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Stand on the side of the good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. Never be lazy in your work, but serve the Lord enthusiastically.

Be glad for all God is planning for you. Be patient in trouble, and always be prayerful. When God's children are in need, be the one to help them out. (NLT)

Forever 21

2007-03-31T14:28:00.000-05:00

I think I always think of myself as a little girl when I am around other people, so it makes me feel inferior. But it's hard to act like an adult, when you go to Whole Foods to sample some brie & wine (which I don't drink) and the sample lady says, "Wait, uhm I don't think you are 21...." She made my day guys, because I am freaking 31.

A new day

2007-03-15T01:04:00.000-05:00

I realize I am happy right now, but I am in denial about so many things in my life. It's not a fake happiness, but I am really not dealing with certain issues in my life. And maybe that is okay, to take a break, but at the same time, I want to move forward.

This happiness, perhaps contentment, has been a stranger in the past 16 months. So, I welcome it, yet I have to question whether I can sustain it without having to mask the key parts of me that are still in the midst of a slow transformation.

Unrelated: I got 2000 back from the USA. Score!

Only for those w/free time

2007-03-11T21:08:00.000-05:00

What do you do when you don't want to:
read a book, listen to music, watch television, call a friend, go on the Internet, exercise, take a bath, clean, do laundry?

The only things I could think of was take a walk and cook. Also, play literati but that negates my previous statement above.

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

2007-03-11T21:07:00.000-05:00

Your Linguistic Profile:

70% General American English

10% Upper Midwestern

10% Yankee

5% Midwestern

0% Dixie

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Keep going... you are not insignificant!

2007-03-06T07:28:00.000-06:00

Some days your own resolve is strong
And other days you bend
it's two steps forward, one step back
and a stumble now and then
You wonder if you'll ever really make the difference
you've prayed that you will
Well, I know that prayer will be fulfilled 'cause

Your life woven day by day
is a new design of the glory God displays
on the canvas of creation
Through the poem of history
in the pattern of redemption
running through the tapestry
Your life in Christ can be
the greatest story ever told

You cannot see the hands of God
or feel the grace that flows
from Him through you to those you touch
In ways you'll never know you cannot measure worth by human standards
That's always a lie
oh, you have to see through heaven's eyes how...

In the light of eternity
Standing face to face you will finally see
for the very first time you'll understand
your perfect place in the master plan and how...

Your life woven day by day
is a new design of the glory God displays
on the canvas of creation
Through the poem of history
in the pattern of redemption
running through the tapestry
Your life in Christ can be
the greatest story ever told
~Avalon

Are you working out?

2007-02-21T23:47:00.000-06:00

Work out

Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed--not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence--continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. Philippians 2:12-13

How's that working for you?

Ash Wednesday

2007-02-21T23:42:00.000-06:00

I've decided based on my readings and study of James that I will give up the "traumas of the tongue" for Lent. I have an accountability partner at work. Together we are going to encourage each other to maintain a positive attitude amongst our colleagues and ourselves.

One of my favorite authors, Ruth Haley Barton, has written a wonderful article on Lent. I encourage you to read it.

"Ash Wednesday is the beginning of the Church's observance of the Lenten season. It is the doorway into a space in time that calls us to stop whatever we are doing, now matter how important it might be, and enter more intentionally into the disciplines of prayer, self-examination and repentance. Left to ourselves, we probably would not choose to devote a whole season to such rigorous and demanding disciplines, but God knows we need it.

Entering In
The season begins as we receive the symbolic gesture of the imposition of ashes on our foreheads and acknowledge our human finiteness and mortality. No matter who we think we are, the traditions of Ash Wednesday remind us that "you are dust and to dust you will return." (Genesis 3:19) This is not meant to be morbid, it is just meant to limit our grandiosity and help us to stay in touch with the real human condition that we all share.
Ash Wednesday also initiates a season of acknowledging our sinfulness. In a very intentional way, we invite God to search us and know us and (eventually) to lead us into resurrection life. The ashes marking our foreheads carry the same meaning contained in the Old Testament practices."

Read the rest of the article at:
http://www.thetransformingcenter.org/pdf/Ash2007.pdf

Also, Lauren Winner has some great thoughts about this in her writings.

Finish this post for me...

2007-02-20T07:34:00.000-06:00

Speak little, ________________________________ .

Breaking up is hard to do....

2007-02-18T06:20:00.000-06:00

God is moving in my life and some of it is great and some of it is hard.

I have been worrying about a relationship. It was time to part ways, and I didn't know how to do it. But God has a way of helping you out, EVEN WHEN YOU DON'T ASK HIM TO. The situation was thrown in my face, and it happened over the phone unexpectedly, and I was quite off guard.

There is another relationship that I have had for four years that is ending as well. Well, could be. I am still fighting for it. I know God has something up his sleeve regardless.

Some semi-steady tutoring opportunities have come as well. Just when all seemed desperate, God makes a way. He's so weird like that.

No Flabbiness!

2007-02-11T00:22:00.000-06:00

A mantra that serves well for my physical and spiritual workouts:

go heavy... be intense or go home

"Go heavy... Be intense or go home."
Perhaps for the spiritual workout I might replace "be intense" with "be authentic & genuine".

"Exercise daily in God, no spiritual flabbiness, please! Workouts in the gymnasium are useful, but a disciplined life in God is far more so, making you fit both today and forever."
1 Timothy 4:7-8 (The Message)

I love www.peertrainer.com

Bible Reading update: I got stuck in Luke (no offense to him), so I came across this tape of the book of Luke being performed by an actor. It was a monologue-type thing. I got it in Urbana '97 or '96. Wow, am I old!!! Now I am on to John...

the process which has no label

2007-02-10T17:10:00.000-06:00

C.S. Lewis Quote

"The world does not consist of 100% Christians and 100% non-Christians.

There are people who are slowly ceasing to be Christians but who still call themselves by that name…

There are other people who are slowly becoming Christians though they do not yet call themselves so.

There are people who do not accept the full Christian doctrine about Christ but who are strongly attracted by him that they are his in a much deeper sense than they themselves understand.

There are people in other religions who are being led by God’s secret influence to concentrate on those parts of their religion which are in agreement with Christianity and who thus belong to Christ without knowing it."

Anna Nicole

2007-02-10T17:09:00.000-06:00

I guess being blonde, famous, rich, thin, and married...
doesn't mean
you feel loved.

Super Bowl

2007-01-30T13:47:00.000-06:00

It's official......

My head head boss boss said that the president has proclaimed Friday, February 2, 2007 as "Wear Bears' Stuff Day".

"All good citizens and guests of the United States should proclaim their loyalty to the Chicago Bears by wearing official Bears' apparel." - G. Bush

Packer fans should wear black as they are mourning their season...........

Last time the Bears were in the Superbowl was when I was in 4th grade.
Somebody brought the words to the Superbowl Shuffle to class, and we all
memorized it during recess.

I remember a lot of girls having crushes on
Jim McMahon that year!

"We're so bad... You know we're good..."

I always thought it was so dirrrty, when they said, "ring your bell"! & when the official would blow his whistle. And when Jim McMahon took off his shades......... whoah... It sent us girls into hysterics!!!

It is being played on the radio/Internet incessantly, however, my first time listening to it was yesterday! And yes... I knew almost every word! See, we remember the IMPORTANT things from elementary school. (Like this year my clients are learning the lyrics to the musical WICKED instead of learning long division.

For those of you who have not heard this one, I found it amusing:

C - Count
O - On
L - Losing
T - The
S - Superbowl

I have a dilemma... I am having a Pre-Superbowl lingerie shower for my bfriend, P.
I hope peeps show up. We will have to play some rowdy wedding shower football games. (I told my dad he cannot be there, for his own safety and purity-sake.) The shower is NOT approved by Jim Dobson. (Thank goodness!) Maybe Brian MacLaren will approve.

I'm back from retreat

2007-01-28T19:55:00.000-06:00

Back from Retreat. So much to share. Taking an excellent class on spiritual mentoring at Willow. God is good. (all the time)
PS: We read from Celtic Daily Prayer! ***eeeee***

Daily Review

2007-01-17T07:41:00.000-06:00

The questions are from AA daily review.

Where did I have problems today? (or Where did I feel bad or negative
today?)

I should have left about 15 minutes earlier. One problem was a misplaced
my keys (on the floor of the driver's seat!) Another is after showering, I
laid down for like 10 minutes & snuggled by my new pink blanket. My
friend got it for me for a holiday gift, as I was admiring the baby
blankets at Fields (excuse me MACY's!)

I felt negative when my teammates were talking about a bday party that one
of them had that everyone but myself and one other attended. I would have
definitely been uncomfortable there, as they were talking about how drunk
they were, etc.

What am I proudest of today?

Getting up at 5:30 to exercise! Weighing myself! Actually doing my hair.
Eating with my team at work.

On a scale of 1 Ã– 10, how much close interaction did I have with people
today?

Well, as I mentioned I ate with my team at work which is uncomfortable
(they are still so new to me.) I talked with one of the new student
teacher's from TRINITY, & got the latest on the ed.Deptt. I will w/out
with my friend L this afternoon, & then tonight is a class at Willow, but
I am not sure how interactive it will be the first night.

Update on the classwhoah will we be sharing a lot!! Met someone who lives in my development even though we were sitting at a table for people from the Elgin area! Coincidence? I think not.

This post had me weeping.

2007-01-13T21:52:00.000-06:00

Thoughts from Carolyn McCulley:

The finish line is not the marriage altar, as good and right as marriage can be. The finish line is seeing your Lord and Savior face to face, in glory. Don't forget that when temptation comes around. You must remember that you are keeping yourself pure because it's your spiritual act of worship and praise (Romans 12:1-3)--not just because of the hope of a future husband. If you get married, your husband will no doubt praise you for your self-control and the gift of your purity to him. But your primary motivation must be to please your Savior, marriage or not.

Don't believe the lie that you are unimportant in God's eyes. You are an object of mercy, a trophy of God's grace, and a woman Jesus died for. Study Paul's letters. Read all that he wrote about God's work in drawing us to Himself. Immerse yourself in those rich, biblical truths until you no longer think the way the world thinks about winners and losers. That said, though, I need to remind you that you are, in fact, a loser. I'm a loser. Every single human being is a loser. Why? Because we all fall short of God's standard (Romans 3:23). BUT--and this is the wonderful fact--BUT, we have been chosen in Him to be redeemed, restored, and glorified (Romans 8:28-30). Unmerited favor, but we are recipients of it nonetheless, and equally so. No one is more redeemed in the Kingdom than the next person. Thus, you can be assured God is not ignoring you because He thinks someone else is more important. God is not like us in this way.

thoughts from her readers:

I love what CJ Mahaney said (when Josh quoted him in his book, Boy Meets Girl), Your greatest need is not a spouse. Your greatest need is to be saved from the wrath of God. It may be difficult but yes, God's grace is sufficient for us to overcome any trial!

"This week God has given me 2 Cor 12:9, "And He said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness. Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weakness, that the power of Christ may dwell in me". There are specific desires that I have and I am weak when it comes to submitting them to Jesus, but how much more will I one day see Jesus' power because I am fully aware that I CAN NOT submit these desires on my own. So I therefore boast in my weakness by saying, "Jesus, I'm so weak that I'm falling on my knees right where I'm at, PLEASE, meet me here and take these desires and lay them at Your feet where they belong!"

We have to ask God for deliverance from those feelings and to recognize that it is Satan trying to influence us in our weakness.

It's hard to believe this is the plan God has for me, unloved all my life. I'm glad this is not all there is. Don't give in, eternity awaits.

I will never give up hope and as I live I will still be praying and trusting God for a Christian husband, but as I look at the words on the placard just beneath my mantelpiece - Jeremiah 29 vs 11. 'For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future...' The main thread or essence that runs through this great passage from His Word is that GOD HAS GREAT PLANS FOR ALL OUR LIVES AND HE HAS ONLY OUR BEST INTEREST AT HEART.
Jill- sometimes it's very hard to believe that quote above in bold.

Marriage is a great blessing, but it's not a prize for the spiritually mature. And singlehood is not Plan B for the Christian life, however much we struggle with our natural human desires.

Unwanted singleness, however, does seem to me to be part of the larger problem of suffering. I believe that God is good and loving, and that in all things He works for our good and His glory. Even in our suffering. I have no idea how. But He does, and He will.

Of course we all want to be loved, deeply. We were made for companionship.

May God fulfill the desires of our hearts, brothers and sisters ... However, He chooses.

Where has the Church gone wrong? Instead of an Acts 2-like community that truly cares for one another's physical, emotional, and spiritual needs, we have become a building that houses a bunch of impersonal programs. VBS, youth groups, care meals for new parents, missions trips, Christmas shoe boxes for Third World children, singles groups... All of these are good things. But we are losing out on the better thing, the true knowing of God and of one another.

The enemy of our souls laughs and rejoices at this state of affairs.

When I feel overwhelmed with that piercing emptiness, that loneliness, is to ask the question with the Psalmist, "How long, O God?" The key is to go to the One who holds the key to our loneliness, to our future. He's the only One who knows what lies ahead, who knows what we are made of, and who can take us through it.

Remember that our Bridegroom has chosen us, called us, and given us an eternal, unbreakable commitment, more solid and sure than any promise any earthly man could make to us. He _chose_ us to be His representatives on earth for a brief handspan of time, but IS NOW and WILL for ETERNITY be cherishing us more deeply and completely than anyone else ever could.

"How long, O God?" Just for this brief life. That's how long married folks have to mirror Christ's relationship with His bride in their marriage relationship. That's how long any of us have to suffer sorrow, pain, and loss. That's how long we have to enjoy the gifts, the blessings, the freedoms, the other ways of looking at life, and the unique ways of serving the rest of Christ's bride that He has given us. Just one life is how long we have as singles to reflect Christ's redemptive power and incredible love and provision. We won't always FEEL or SEE His provision. But those God has providentially put alongside us on earth may only see Him as we honor or dishonor Him with our attitudes this side of eternity.

When I went through a very difficult season of discontent and anger towards the Lord, a wonderful friend compassionately pointed me to the following verses in Psalm 34. It has since become an anthem for me. Read the whole chapter as I have only included a few of the incredible truths:

"This poor man cried, and the Lord HEARD him and SAVED him out of ALL his troubles. Oh, TASTE and see that the Lord is GOOD! BLESSED is the man who takes refuge in him!... Oh, fear the Lord, you his saints, for those who fear him have NO LACK! Those who seek the Lord LACK NO GOOD THING. The eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous and HIS EARS TOWARD THEIR CRYING. The Lord is NEAR TO THE BROKENHEARTED and saves the crushed in spirit. MANY are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord DELIVERS him out of them ALL."

Friends, God hears our cries - each and every one of them. Press on and pursue holiness. No, not to receive desires as rewards but because of WHO He is and WHAT He has done for you.

I understand those feelings of loneliness and pain, wondering where God is, what's wrong with me, feeling like second best in a church that prizes marriage and children, arching my eyebrows at the assumption that just because we're single, we want to mind other peoples' children (huh!?)and the list goes on. I think it's important that we reject the idea that we are second class citizens. It may just be the other way around. When I see some marriages, even Christian onerealizealise the compromises that have led to some of them - I don't mean the give and take of relationships, I mean that some of these marriages probably aren't ideal. (Jill: so very true!) Sometimes, it's just a matter of the music stopping and marrying the person next to you. Yes, there are some godly marriages around, but there are also a lot of marriages I wouldn't want to be a part of.

Why are there so many singles in church and not more of us lovely people married? It's a fallen world. Maybe this is my part of it to bear.

I will put my trust in you, O God, I will say you are my God, my times are in your haPsalmss (Ps 42).

There are so very many things to be discontent about, and I found myself mentally adding to the list (players, slim pickins, someone who likes you but not 'that way'...). Not to oversimplify, but I wonder if much of our suffering comes from a lack of understanding of what we have?

The fact is that even "the most cross-centered soul" (as an earlier post described us) can always find something it needs but doesn't have. The question I believe God asks consistently through Scripture is: What is it? The obvious and ultimate answer, which has been discussed, is God himself. But don't let's stop there.

What do I lack? Do I need a husband? Do I need food? Do I need a vacuum cleaner? Do I need a better car? Do I need a more fulfilling job? Do I need joy? Slapping a "Jesus died for me" band-aid on it is not going to heal the gaping wound. (James 2:15-16 - If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, "Go in peace, be warmed and filled," without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that?) Needs are meant to be filled in a way that glorifies God as provider and the only completely trustworthy one.Has God deprived me of the one thing most needful? No. Like Mary, I have the One most needful, and nothing can take Him away from me.

(J: provocative thoughts below:)

As for marrying a non-Christian, Paul said it was better to marry than to burn. Author Henri Nouwen wondered if resentment or lust was the worse sin. Variation on a theme?

Jesus said to test him and to question him. I take this to mean you are supposed to think. I think it is much more useful to examine WHY God says don't do something. If you marry a non-Christian who remains a non-Christian even if you never have children or the other problems listed above, what about your husband? I don't know you, but I wouldn't be able to live my life happy and content while knowing my spouse was destined for Hell. IÂd obsess about it day and night, trying to convert him. Then when he, rightly, insisted that I stop trying to force Jesus on him, I'd be even worse off. As for marrying a non-Christian, there are many things that are permissible for me but not everything is beneficial, and this is choice seems to have the potential to be devastating. You may wind up feeling like you didnÂt REALLY know what loneliness was.

Proverbs says hope deferred makes the heart sick, so we all better start rowing.

I don't think I can hang on any longer either, but I know GOD IS GOOD. You and I will make it. We have come so far, please, don't give up. God is cheering for us and I am cheering for you. We are at war. God's enemy is prowling and seeking to take out those who belong to God. Satan is most afraid of what you are capable of doing for God's glory. If he can disable a child of God that's one less person he has to worry. Don't fall for his trap of lies. Hang in there. I know you are tired of people telling you to hang on and wondering how - when you don't feel like you have the strength, but you can - just take one step at a time. Each step you take will add up to many, and soon you'll see how far you have traveled with each step. The future is full of promises, embrace them. Learn to see beyond what you can see. You are created for a greater purpose. Actually, come to think of it, it takes courage and honesty for you to reach out with the article. I am encouraged by your story. Who know how many others you have comforted by sharing your struggles.

Original Post

http://solofemininity.blogs.com/posts/2006/08/i_cant_go_on_an.html

Website: Godward encouragement for Christian single women:

http://solofemininity.blogs.com

May God pour out abundant, sustaining grace on you.

Scrapping My Winter Break

2006-12-21T13:16:00.000-06:00

The best part about being on Winter Break, is that you can scrapbook with your friends from 12-9:30pm, and then go home and organize your pictures until 4:30am!

To all you nay-sayers

2006-12-19T17:02:00.000-06:00

This information to all you nay-sayers that scold me for never wearing a coat....

Quick tips to help you avoid catching a cold:

Contrary to what your mother told you, wearing your hat and buttoning your jacket when you go outside won't help you avoid catching a cold.

Keeping your house clean and washing your hands frequently, however, will! Minimizing dust and dirt that you track indoors will help keep your home germ-free, and washing or sanitizing your hands and clothing after being in a public or crowded area (particularly if you are around people who are ill) is the best way to avoid catching a cold.

I cleaned my kitchen today, so there.

Update: just bought gorgeous coat from Ann Taylor;
makes me feel like a lady;
I might actually wear this one!!!

Christmas Blessing & Recommendations

2006-12-18T23:43:00.000-06:00

Christmas Blessings to everyone.

May everyone who receives this message be blessed. I would like to suggest to say a prayer before you read the poem. That's all you have to do. There is nothing attached. Prayer is one of the best free gifts we receive. There is no cost but a lot of reward. (Did you pray?) Make sure you pray, and pray believing that God will answer. This is your last opportunity before reading the poem!!! (heehee)

May today there be peace within.
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received,
and pass on the love that has been given to you....

May you be content knowing you are a child of God...

Let His presence settle into your bones,
and allow your soul the freedom
to sing, dance, praise and love.

It is there for each and every one of us.

We are LOVED!
If you are not feeling loved, I recommend the following:
First of all, let me know, & I will truly hug you through email.
Try to get into a community of people that love & support you. If you cannot find one within a church context, something is wrong -and it might not be you! I would contact the pastor, let him know of the challenge, and have him "hook you up". This could be done anonymously through email. If you like, use only your initials.

Reading
Love Beyond Reason by John Ortberg
*This book was personally very transformational in my thinking & being in regard to God's love relationship with us. That He would reach down from heaven, for us! (More good stuffs about this in Changes that Heal by Cloud & Townsend.)

I,II, III John in the New Testament by John the Apostle
(I have a Jewish friend whose Christian husband calls the NT, the "sequel"!)

Okay....
I'm ready for feedback!
Amazon the following two books & let me know which ones you think I should read 1st:
The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brannon Manning -or-
Unbreakable Bonds by Dr. Paul & Dr. Cheryl Meier

Maya Angelou

2006-12-16T12:39:00.000-06:00

Christians - By Maya Angelou

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin'."
I'm whispering "I was lost,
Now I'm found and forgiven."

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
And need His strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
And need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
But, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
Who received God's good grace, somehow!

Although I have this understanding, I need to hear it again for reinforcement. We need to be humble enough to share this with those who do not have a clear understanding of what it means to be a Christian, so that the myth that Christians think they are "perfect" or "better than others" can be dispelled.

God Jul!

2006-12-13T19:09:00.000-06:00

It's Santa Lucia Day!

Holiday Version of Getting to Know Me!

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? I love hot chocolate, but lately I've been getting sick of it. I also love my skinny tall eggnog lattes from Caribou & Starbucks. But again, I'm getting sick of them. Regular Egg nog? Well, it's so rich & CALORIE/FAT ridden, so I just bought a little bottle of some low-fat variety. SO far, I haven't opened it yet....

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? We don't "do" Santa, but yes, we wrap gifts for each other. However, some years after we have opened them, we place the unwrapped gifts under the tree for awhile, until my mom gets sick of it. :-)

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? When I was little I liked what can only be termed as "a crazy mess". But now I like white lights, or trees where the bottom is green or red & spotlights on wreaths, candles in the window. THIS YEAR.... I've seen PINK Christmas lights, and I SOOO want them!

4. Do you hang mistletoe? No, however, we did at the Rolling Meadows house.

5. When do you put your decorations up? The day after Thanksgiving. It's a long arduous process, but thankfully Mom has "decluttered" her way through about 8 boxes worth of stuff, and now she only has 34i294i293 boxes of decos. Fortunately, I live alone now, so I can put up as few as I like! My roomie put up the tree this year (I hate decorating the tree!), and put some beautiful garland up my staircase banister. Right after Thanksgiving . . . I love the warm, fuzzy feeling of Christmas! Having my Advent wreath out is very important to me. This year I also got an Advent calendar! So fun! My mom also buys me a candle with the #s 1-25 on it, and you burn it 1 day at a time. It's fun.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? I like our Swedish smorgasbord: (Ostkaka -- Swedish cheesecake -not like the American kind at all), Kroppkakor (Boiled potato-dumplings, filled with pork), bundost cheese, baked beans, Swedish meat balls, rice pudding (not a dessert in our family!), limpa, & Grandma's rye bread! NO LUTAFISK OR HERRING!

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child? going to Candlelight Carols as a child, singing in many Christmas concerts at church/school/community, celebrating Advent as a family despite my brother & my pyromaniac tendencies

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I remember I was about 3 years old at my grandparents' farm in Iowa, I was sleeping on the bottom trundle bed, and asked my mother to keep the door slightly closed, so that I wouldn't be frightened by Santa looking at me. I never really believed in Santa. That just wasn't our families' "thing". However, now that I think about it, I remember my cousin Brad teasing my brother about "Who do you think Santa Claus really is?", and Dan would angrily retort, "Kris Kringle!".

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? We open all of our Johnson Family gifts on Christmas Eve. (To me, Christmas Eve IS Christmas.) Christmas Day (or shall I say afternoon, as Dan and I are loathe to get up early) we open gifts from Carlson relatives and from each other.

10. What kind of cookies does Santa get set out for him? See above, we don't do that.

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? I love LOOKING at snow from inside the house.... It's fun for about 5 SECONDS when my students yell and run to the windows to see the new incoming snow. I dread driving when it is really icy though. Very scary.

12. Can you ice skate? I took lessons as a child, but I never got past "Alpha"! My students laugh because they all take private skating lessons and compete, and of course have passed their way through to Freestyle X!

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? So many dolls, particularly my Ginny doll. I don't really remember beyond that.... My birthday & Christmas gifts run together. I remember I loved getting dried apricots in my stocking every year. OOOOH, I remember my brother, who works at a mall, FOUND $100 worth of Mario Tricocci gift cards, that someone had left on the ground, and gave it to me! SCORE!

14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? being with my family, taking and spending intentional time focusing on the birth of Christ and his redemption and grace for my life, (I have YET to find a good Advent devotional -so I am going through the Gospel of Luke), going to Christmas concerts, baking. And yes.... corn flake cookies that are dyed green with 2 redhots to make it look like holly leaves. Gross, but good.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Fudge brownies with peppermint ice cream, with hot fudge sauce drizzled on it, topped off with a candy cane. (DIVINE!) Also Pepparkaka -(Ginger snap *marketed by Whole Foods as "digestion cookies"!)dipped in coffee!

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Making a "Happy Birthday, Jesus" coffee cake with my Dad.

17. What tops your tree? The past four years.... This obnoxiously-huge star made out of branches that I hauled back from Switzerland. (Did I mention it's obnoxious??) This year my roomie has her stuff on it.

18. Which do you prefer Giving or Receiving? Giving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But both are challenging for me. I want to get JUST the right gift for people. It's hard to receive because if I don't like it, I get overwhelmed with decisions of what to do with it. It's hard for me to get rid of stuff. (HOARDING ISSUES!) :-)

19. What is your favorite Christmas Carol? This is embarrassing but it's all that cute little Swedish girl from the 70's: Evie singing "Come on, Ring those Bells!) and "Mary's Little Boy Child". And I just have to say that the 2 volume collection of "An Evening to Remember" by First Call makes me want to vomit. Our church did a contata based on it, and Dad & I had to play it all the time, because we were both singing in it. There were some sappy songs in it! Too funny!

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum? They are okay. This year I am giving my kids Jolly Rancher-flavored ones!

21. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
OF COURSE!

22. Favorite Christmas Movie? The Christmas Story ("You'll shoot you're eye out, kid!"), Little Women, and The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

23. Do you have a nativity scene? Yes. But, mine is a bit Mormon, because there are 2 Marys.

24. Most annoying thing about this time of year? finding parking

Ok, copy and paste this into the comments box, change all the answers so that they apply to you & post!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kroppkakor *see a picture of our family dish!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blekinge or http://www.blekinge.se/
*where Grandpa Johnson was from! (& where we visited)

Ordinary Lives

2006-12-12T06:37:00.000-06:00

I love this phrase: the “spirituality of the ordinary.”

A note from the gym teacher...

2006-12-11T23:05:00.000-06:00

Interesting thing happened in gym class today.

We were doing tumbling with the kindergarten and when one of the lines of students had completed doing their stunts, I noticed a pair of underpants on the mat. The only thing I can think of is that someone went really, really fast down the mat!

God is our Gatorade

2006-12-05T19:19:00.000-06:00

There is a Gatorade commercial right now that says, "IS 'IT' IN YOU????". Well, according to this commercial, most of us don't have it IN US ready to compete. Thus the Gatorade.

But really.... GOD is our Gatorade!
I believe He is the red kind. My favorite is Mountain Ice.

I am not on a spiritual high or valley, rather in the plains-which is okay.

However, I'd like to hike upward a bit.

Which means remaining in HIM, which results in the Holy Spirit unleashing His power. (When did the Holy Ghost go out of being en vogue?) This allows the Holy Spirit to give us vitality, living water, passion, empowerment, etc. Drawing close, allows God to give us the power to demonstrate the fruits of the spirit.

When I think about growing in my relationship with God, I think about spending time with Him through prayer, solitude & reading the Word.
1. Is God accessible only at Starbucks? If so, then I have to pay $3 to talk to Him? Need to find other places, or learn to find God in my own environment. But we really do have our best talks at a coffeeshop.
2. Sometimes I do too much "goal setting" with my devotional time with Him. It can become so legalistic for me. Right now, I have 2 more weeks of small group study, I have an advent booklet I'd like to follow, and I am reading Luke as I am reading through the Gospels this season, and plus LUKE=CHRISTMAS STORY! I need to make sure that I do some, rather than NOTHING. (I get discouraged if I don't do it ALL perfectly, and give up.)

It's not about doing, it's about being. And yet in order to be, we must do some doing.

PS-I saw THE NATIVITY this weekend! It was so, so incredible. Shhh... I cried twice! After viewing it I commented, "I wonder if there is a sequel. What happens next?". My friend replied, "Dear, that's called The Passion of the Christ!" If you ask an obnoxious question, you get an obnoxious answer.

Two final thoughts.....
Robert Mullholand said something to the effect of:
"As Christians we live
FOR God,
And IN the world.

When we ought to live IN God
FOR the world..."

I am so stricken by the connection and relationship between Christmas and Easter, especially when I head Handel's Messiah. The power of Easter is in Christmas. It's not about his birth. It's about having a Redeemer.

Blah, Blah, Blah

2006-12-03T18:04:00.000-06:00

I am having my small group come over tomorrow for study (we are doing Ruth) and to celebrate ADVENT. The problem is, I haven't dont this week's study yet. Plus someone is keeping me accountable tomorrow regarding filing all these papers I have, and putting all my mountain of clothes away. I have been procrastinating all day. I am really good at that. It is one of my spiritual gifts, in fact.

Not much else is going on around here. I am looking forward to winter break and being able to drink egg nog lattes all day, and reading books by Caribou Coffee's fire. Sigh. 3 more weeks. It will be fun to see my clients get so excited about the holidays. They are now asking each other, "Are you Christmas or Hannukah?"! Of course, there are a few who are both. (which somehow seems unfair!) :-)

Postscript
These are the things I have completed while procrastinating over the above assigned tasks:
eat cereal, watched "Americas Next Top Model" marathon, & completed neck stretches

Bon Anniversaire!

2006-11-25T23:00:00.000-06:00

Today I celebrated my belated birthday with my parents. We went to Willow Creek to hear my favorite speaker there, Mike Breaux.

Next was a trip to an amazingly tasty & quaint Italian restaurant in Libertyville. We did not talk the entire meal. We were all so engrossed in our meal. The food was amazing. I ordered the Baked Eggplant Parmisagna. Dad ordered something with Italian sausage and vegetables. (He usually orders Fettucine Alfredo, so this was a surprise!) Mom ordered a chicken dish alfredo w/angel hair pasta.

I hope we go back there. It was good food. The problem is though, that my parents don't really like to eat out as much as I do. (Well, maybe it's because they pay for it typically!) And to go more than 15 minutes for dinner, is usually out of the question. So this was very big of my parents to take me there. (I wonder if my dad will read this....)

We came home for dessert -Ice Box cake. A family favorite & birthday tradition. Dan was there albeit exhausted! He works retail, so we hadn't seen him since Black Monday. Cath, did you get a report from G&L?

Willow has some seminars/workshops that I am interested in. I signed up for a solitude retreat that I attended a year ago. It was an amazing experience. Also there is a budgeting class & a spiritual mentoring/growth class that looks interesting.

WC is a friendly place where people are genuinely worshipping Christ and being Jesus to their community. And isn't that what the Christian life is all about?

Compline: bedtime prayers

2006-11-25T22:57:00.000-06:00

This is from one of my favorite liturgical prayer websites, Celtic Daily Prayer, at http://www.northumbriacommunity.org.

The compline is the prayer said before one's nightly nap.

CDP opened a whole new world to me, in terms of prayer. Another favorite is the Phyllis Tickle series for the seasons of the year.

Sweet Dreams & Good Night!

In the name of the King of life;
in the name of the Christ of love;
in the name of the Holy Spirit:
the Triune of my strength.

* I love you, O Lord my strength.
The Lord is my rock,
my fortress and my deliverer.
My God is my rock
in whom I take refuge.

* I will praise the Lord who counsels me;
even at night my heart instructs me.

* I have set the Lord always before me.
Because He is at my right hand,
I shall not be shaken.

I am placing my soul and my body
under Thy guarding this night, O Christ.
May Thy cross this night be shielding me.

* Into Your hands I commit my spirit;
redeem me, O Lord, the God of Truth.

* The God of life with guarding hold you;
the loving Christ with guarding fold you;
the Holy Spirit, guarding, mould you;
each night of life to aid, enfold you;
each day and night of life uphold you.

May God shield me;
may God fill me;
may God keep me;
may God watch me;
may God bring me this night
to the nearness of His love.

* The peace of the Father of joy,
the peace of the Christ of hope,
the peace of the Spirit of grace,

the peace of all peace
be mine this night
+ in the name of the Father,
and of the Son,
and of the Holy Spirit.
Amen.

Interesting...

2006-11-24T01:50:00.000-06:00

This was from a commenter on a blog that I frequent. Please discuss.

"Democracy was invented by the humanistic Greeks, and it is humanistic at its core. Millions of unregenerate people tossing their misguided opinions in the ballot box to steer the nation doesn’t seem like God’s plan. Almost all the New Testament references to government sport the “king” model, but always keeping a fire wall between the church and the government.
The church has been hoodwinked into thinking that voting advances the kingdom of God and that America rides with a special anointing from God. And in so doing, Christian men, albeit well intentioned, run for office amidst a system which necessitates compromise, bragadocia, speaking evil of opponents, and obscene amounts of money.

And in the end, the MOST that the evangelical world hopes for is a ban on abortion (too late) and a ban on gay marriage (it's coming). And how did America get to this point? Because the church joined hands with the system called democracy rather than through prayer and fasting becoming so different, so loving, so humanitarian, so non-hedonistic, so gentle, so humble, so accessible, that the people who call themselves Americans were mysteriously drawn to these people.

Instead, we will join hands with a pro-lifer who denies that Jesus has come in the flesh. Somewhere the Bible gives that a name."

The Day After Thanksgiving

2006-11-24T01:44:00.000-06:00

I am thankful for....

*The freedom I have in Christ, to live in communion with Him,
and not be tied down from sin and its resulting guilt and grief

*A meaningful job where I have the opportunity to be creative & mentor

*unconditional love from family
*an imperfect home church that is made up of imperfect people,
but is a place where I can get "filled up".

*for people in my life that are "grace-providers": P, N, K, & C

*amazon.com

Visitors, political rant, Lost&Found, Yoga/Requests

2006-11-04T00:31:00.000-06:00

Ok.... So....
I have people who come to my blog by way of googling "Brandon Manning". I am honored! I started "The Ragamuffin Gospel", but got sidetracked by another book.

someone also googled "Nancy Lee DeMoss" (finally finished that study by the way)

Don't blame Republican senators & congress members, for the President's overextension of executive power (just thought I'd add that in.) Also... I have changed my mind on Rumsfeld... We need to get him out, and now. We need another direction to lead this operation. And please, all the Democrats do is whine and say, "Send the troops home!". Yeah right. Like THAT would be a good idea.... Leaving Iraq to be overtaken by Iran or who knows who else. Have you ever heard of WWII people??? Democratic candidates: If you can't put up, shut up. Get a freaking plan people. You people are worse than James Dobson is in the whining department.

This is a consumer alert: Do NOT buy Target's Women's daily multivitamin. It is a take off on the "One a day" tablets. The Jewel generic brand is fine, but this generic made me puke, literally.

It was an odd day...

I woke up this morning, tapped on my glasses to make sure my lens was secure, as last night in the middle of Caribou Coffee, in the middle of my order of the new holiday drink Ho, ho, ho or something like that (by the way- not that great), my lens POPPED OUT and flung across the room, and of course my friends were laughing like hyenas (as good friends will do).

Well anyway, this morning -after tapping on the lenses- the lens POPPED OUT again.... But this time it was in my bedroom -which is literally a war-zone, and has been for more than 7 months. I could not find it anywhere. I was getting really pissed, especially at God, like why the heck aren't you helping me find it RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND??@?!?

Finally, I had to call my principal. I said, "I think this is probably the most ridiculous excuse for missing a faculty meeting you have ever heard, but I am going to be late, as my glasses broke, and my lens has gone missing." (She laughed and wished me luck.)

Well, literally 5 minutes later I found it. But................ She did give me permission to arrive late, so I took advantage. Sue me! I had a leisurely breakfast of instant oatmeal (usually it's a Luna Bar -Peanut Butter Cookie flavor in the car) and even did some downward dogs, cat stretch, table pose, & delightful child's pose. Please -I'm no yogi!!

some prayer requests:
for my friend n whose cat just died
for my friend nyuk who is going through some terrible medical problems
for my challenging client -facing in school suspension regarding threats & weapons
(He's only 8!!) :-( Be thankful for your parents, that's all I am going to say. I have been blessed in that department, that's for sure.

Fill me up, Lord

Resurrection Day

The Yoga of Fat-Burning?

Eating as a path of Yoga

I'm not waiting...

My 1st Twitter Chat

Tip-toeing off the mat

Dating

Be a participant!

Wisconsin Politics

Pleasure

Oprah's Vegan Challenge

Fairly Mindful

Necessary Endings & What would love say?

Only Kindness Matters... (when it comes to change)

Single in the Suburbs

Mindful Living is NOT a chore...

R*E*L*I*S*Hing life

Trying to Pivot towards Balance

The Something of Oz

The Waiting

Bitter & Sweet: a duality of feelings

Wish I was over it

Exactly Right Now

10 hours before, after, and during

Nothingness & Everything

On being "footprints" & leaving legacies.

Personal Rhythms

????

Teacher Gifts/Horror

Summer Reading

Heartbreak & Lemonade

Beam me up.

Dreaming of Hussein

Saint Beverly

Being Missional in Suburbia: the grass ain't greener

And you?

Intuitive Eating

Ash Wednesday

New Year's Resolution:

Commitment with Community: This is love.

This one makes me cry everytime I hear it...

Referenced below; I love it's simplicity.

Gratitude & Snow

Holiday Update

Bon/ne Anniversaire a moi!

I kid you not.

Advice: The Great Commandment

Missed Opportunity

Not black & white: Gray for God

Untitled

Toward Contentment

One of the Church's Many Bizarre Practices

Recent musings...

the magic number....

to be or not to be

There are no cats in America, & the streets are lined with cheese.

Fill in the blank...

Because I don't understand it.

No superstar skills required -only love.

History Repeats Itself?

My "high"

Beautiful sites and broken people

Give me my daily bread & no more & no less

The Safest Place

Happy, Busy, & practicing manners

Impulse Control, Impulse Control, Impulse Control

Not necessarily my views

My Travel Profile

Whine with that cheese

Love, Love, Love

Forever 21

A new day

Only for those w/free time

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Keep going... you are not insignificant!

Are you working out?

Ash Wednesday

Finish this post for me...

Breaking up is hard to do....

REL*ISHing life